Absence makes the heart grow fonder
by coyotegrrrl18
Summary: This is a sequel to Collateral, it takes place six months to a year after Gail tells Holly she wants to spend the rest of their lives together. Thanks for reading! Comments are greatly appreciated! You can follow me on twitter @coyotegrrrl18
1. Chapter 1

It had been three long months since I had last seen Gail with only a few hints of progress and two precious brief notes scrawled out haste and passed back through Traci. The last one said simply, "Can't wait to see you again!" that had been a month ago on bar napkin.

I placed my glasses on the desk, rubbed my eyes, and tried to concentrate on the DNA report in front of me. It was no use. It all came back like it was yesterday. Gail walking into the lab, placing coffee on my desk and kissing the top of my head, "I have good news and bad news…" She began.

The "good" news was that Gail and Dov had been chosen for a highly coveted undercover assignment. The "bad" news was that Gail had three hours to finish any personal business before disappearing with no contact for God knows how long. She had pulled me into her arms and begged me to wait for her. How could I say anything but "Yes, of course?"

Chris and I had cemented a close friendship during this time. He liked to joke that having a lesbian wingman was better than being a police officer when it came to picking up women. We went to hockey games, arcades, and nightclubs together, to pass the time. I even got him to come dancing with me at a gay bar or two – and he always ended up going home with the only straight girls there, go figure. Going to the Penny was harder, as I always expected to see her swaggering through the door or sitting on her favorite bar stool. Although we never spoke of it, I think he knew just how much I missed her, and I knew how much he missed her and Dov too. Three days after they left, he had invited me over to his place for pizza and video gaming, claiming the apartment was just too quiet without them. When it got to be late, he suggested I stay over in Gail's room, if I didn't think that was creepy. I had gratefully taken comfort in her bed, falling asleep my face buried in her scent on her pillow. We had been doing that off and on ever since. On the night I beat him at Mortal Combat he told me Gail was going to kill him for teaching me how to play whenever she returned.

Damn! This report was not going to write its self! I picked up my glasses and looked up to find Callahan entering my office.

"Excuse me Dr. Stewart," He began with an earnest expression, "I need you to come with me."

My heart threatened to stop right then and there.

"But I need to finish this report by tomorrow." I protested weakly, all the while panicking.

"Don't worry, I spoke with your supervisor, we have you covered. Now please follow me." He turned and left the room.

I followed him out to an unmarked black SUV. Climbing into the passenger seat I turned to him "Is it Gail? What's happened?" I asked in as even a voice as I could manage.

"She's ok, it looks worse than it is." He shrugged noncommittally. "You look tired. Why don't you tip your seat back and try to get some rest, we won't be there for at least three hours."

"Where are we going?" I asked

"I can't tell you that." He replied, "I can only tell you that you are here because you have security clearance with the department and you are a doctor."

"Great, just great!" I sighed, "Is there anything else I need to know?"

"Not right now." He glanced sideways at me. "I will brief you when we get closer. Just try to keep any answers as short and real as possible."

The rest of the ride was quiet and I found myself dozing off in spite of my state of agitation. I awoke to the bumpiness of a dirt road and a million stars peaking through the tops of tall pines.

"Good, you're awake." He said, "When we get there, my name is Johnny Callahan, you are Dr. Susan Johnson. You are a doctor and my ex-girlfriend. You own a clinic, and I use you to take care of medical emergencies without attracting attention from the authorities. You will tell whoever is there that you will need to bring Gail to your clinic for further treatment. Her name is Candy, do not address her as Gail until we get her into the car. There is a medical bag in the back. Ok?"

"Ok." I repeated

"Good!" Here we go!" Callahan pulled into the driveway of a trailer home behind a big blue pickup truck and an older mustang.

He got the bag out of the back, and strode up the walk with me trailing behind. The door opened, and Dov stepped out into the brisk spring night.

"Hey Johnny! You brought your lady doc?" He said shaking Luke's hand.

"Yeah Dave, here she is." He wrapped an arm around my waist. "Dave this is Dr. Susan Johnson, Suzie, this is Dave."

"Um, hi!" I manage a smile, "What can I do for you?"

Dov stepped aside and motioned us into the trailer. Another man rose from the kitchen table to greet us. He was large with a salt and pepper crew cut and scars under his eyes, and on his hands like he had been a fighter. "Hey Johnny! Is your girl really a doc? Cuz she's too pretty to be a doc!" He winked at me.

"Hey Sal, what's up?" they shook hands and did the half hug guys do.

"What can I do for you?" I inquired while looking around for any sign of Gail.

Sal looked at his hands and shook his head. "Dave's lady managed to get herself knocked up, so we were hoping you could help us take care of it quietly."

I barely managed to stifle a sharp intake of breath and felt myself flush, my heart beating in my mouth.

"You don't have a problem with that, do you?" Dov was looking at me sharply.

I shook my head.

"Look, " Sal said, "She's in the back. We had to teach her a lesson, so maybe you could help clean her up a little too."

"Let me examine her, and I will let you know what I can do." I offered

Dov opened the door at the back of the trailer and ushered me into a dark bedroom. The lump on the bed groaned and rolled over. He quietly closed the door behind him.

"Hey!" Gail's hand snaked out from under the covers.

"Hey!" I sat on the edge of the bed, suddenly unable to stand. Her fingertips ghosting along the underside of my jaw created a giant boulder in my throat. I swallowed hard in an attempt to gain some small amount of control. All I wanted to do was kiss her, but that would be stupid. I heard Dov shift and lean on the door behind me.

"So Doc, what do you think?" He asked a little bit louder than necessary.

"I think I will need to take her back to my clinic for further evaluation and treatment." I manage in an unsteady voice.

There came a knock on the door. Sal was standing there as it opened.

"Well?" he demanded

"I will need to take her back to my clinic for further evaluation and treatment." I repeated firmly.

"I donno," Sal stated looking me up and down, "Why can't you take care of her here?"

"Look," I said firmly, "If you want me to terminate the pregnancy I can't do it here under these unsanitary conditions. I will need the equipment and medication I have at my clinic."

He turned to Callahan "I thought you said she could take care of it!"

"Don't worry, she's cool." Luke said calmly after a tense moment of silence. "If she says we need to go back to the clinic, we go back to the clinic. I mean Christ, Sal, it's her clinic, no one else will be there!"

They glared at each other for a moment.

Dov cleared his throat, "Guys, guys…"He cut in, "Don't forget we need her in one piece by the time Sanchez gets here, unless you can understand both Portuguese, Spanish and look good in that little red dress he likes..."

"Ok, ok, just get it done. But no hospitals!" Sal insisted, "Dave, she's your lady, you go with her."

"Sounds good!" Dov replied

He and Callahan helped Gail up and into the light of the kitchen. I was not ready to see the dried blood in her hair or the dark purple bruise on her cheek, or her left eye that was swollen almost shut as the helped her into the back seat of Luke's car.

The trip to the safe house was quiet. Dov and I switched places when we stopped for gas on the highway. Gail sighed and snuggled up against me gripping my hand like she might never let go. I was numb, but she was here, solid and real.

"I'm going to need to debrief the two of you before you can talk to anyone else" Luke stated as we pulled into the drive of what looked like a farm. "I'm sorry Holly, but I will need you to wait down stairs for a while. The kitchen is fully stocked, so just make yourself at home."

"But Gail's injuries.." I began to protest

She reached up and kissed me briefly for the first time, "Don't worry about me. It looks worse than it is." She tried to smile and ended up with a grimace, uncurled herself from my side and stretched. The three of them briskly got out of the car, collected duffel bags from the back and went inside. I followed slowly behind, my head still swimming from the contact of Gail's lips.

I was sitting on a bench at the long wooden table in the farmhouse kitchen, staring into my coffee when Gail appeared in the doorway fresh from the shower. Even though she looked rough, the sight of her took my breath away. She was wearing dark navy sweatpants, and a hoodie, unzipped just enough to make me wonder if that was all she was wearing. She moved silently across the wood floor on bare feet to straddle the bench next to me, snugging her body close to mine.

"Hey." She whispered into the crook of my neck, as she wrapped her arms around my waist.

"Gail." I breathed out, scarcely believing she was here.

"Mmmm." She nuzzled me behind the ear making it hard to think.

"Gail," I repeated, "Are you really pregnant?"

She laughed softly, her breath on my neck causing all of the hairs on my body to stand at attention. "Not unless your sneaky, nerdy, science ways have perfected a method of long distance parthenogenesis. Though I have to say, the dream I had the other night when I found out I might see you, about you trying to knock me up was quite, um, real. Doctor."

My heart was beating faster, and I could feel myself flush with both the shame of having doubted her, and desire so strong I thought I might pass out. As I turned to face her, I found that I could no longer contain it. Our lips crashed together with dueling tongues and savage teeth, my hand tangled in her damp hair, her leg sneaking across my lap to give her center contact with my hip. I swung my leg over the bench while pulling her into my lap, suddenly in need of more contact as well, my other hand finding its way under her sweatshirt and spanning across the bare skin of her back. The world was on fire. Her hands were gripping either side of my face as we breathlessly pulled apart. She leaned her forehead against mine and whispered,

"I'm so glad you're here!"

"I missed you," I whispered back "more than I can say!"

I reached up to gently run my fingertips over the bruise on her face. "Tell me what happened." I demanded.

Gail shrugged and got up. "Things are heating up." She began, "It won't be long before we finish this."

I was watching her pace around the kitchen, weighing how much she should tell me. I was beginning to wonder how dangerous this assignment had become. She stopped and faced me.

"Dov and I got into a public fight about me being pregnant so we could disappear for a few days without suspicion."

"Dov did this to you?" I asked incredulously, nearly tipping the bench over as I rose.

"Holly, it's ok." She said slowly, "He needed to prove himself to the guys, and we needed an excuse to get away for a few days."

I think I must have been looking at her like she had lost her mind.

"Besides," She continued, "I had to promise Dov I wouldn't retaliate by breaking his nose later." She smirked

"That's not funny Gail!"

"Listen, " Gail went on quietly, "we have three days, can't we just make the most of it?"

She stepped in close to me, hooking her fingers in my belt and pulling me closer, our hips barely touching.

"Gail I…"

She reached up, removed my glasses, placed them on the table, and turned to cup my face in her hands, stopping the words I could no longer remember from falling from my mouth.

"Please?"

The word breathed out against my lips, made me shiver. Her lips were on mine again, soft this time, full of need, and tenderness, and longing. I opened to her, breathing her in like oxygen. My hands found themselves once again running up the naked expanse of skin beneath her sweatshirt. Her tongue was brushing softly against mine, charging the atoms in the room with electricity that ran across our skin. She moaned quietly into my mouth and we were no longer on solid ground, my knees giving way beneath me. She pulled away, breathless now, and took me by the hand.

"Come on Holly!" She whispered urgently

All I could do was nod and allow her to lead me through the old farmhouse, up a flight of stairs and into a small suite. In the center is a large four-poster bed covered in an old-fashioned blue and white wedding quilt and white pillows. She sits on the edge of the bed still holding my hand. I allowed her to draw me in, silent and pliant, heart beating a staccato against my ribs. This is ridiculous! I felt my mouth go dry and my hands begin to sweat as she looked at me with a glint in her eye and her hands on the button of my slacks.

"Holly, I just love you so…" She breathed out

I answered her by leaning over to kiss her again, a long slow kiss that built with intensity, as she undid my pants, a kiss that was finally interrupted as she pulled my shirt over my head and threw it into the corner of the room. She butted her head against my midriff like a big cat, rubbing her face across my belly and breathing me in.

"God, I've missed you!" She breathed out, as she swiftly unzipped her hoodie.

"I know. Me too!" I replied in a hushed tone, as I tugged at the drawstring of her sweatpants.

She and pulled me on top of her, while wriggling out of them. With one smooth kick they're gone and we are lying there naked, pressed together. She turned and rolled on top of me, pinning me to the bed, knee expertly placed between my legs. I gasped, overwhelmed by the sensation of her incredibly soft, firm body rubbing against mine.

"Mmm, Hol," she whispered breathlessly in my ear, "I just want to fuck you!"

I could have died right there. Our lips collided again. Her mouth opened, pushing tongue past teeth, I was drowning in sensation, transported beyond myself. She pulled my leg up around her waist, fingers sliding on my slick inner folds, seeking my molten core. My body betrayed my desire as my hips rose and my legs spread wider with a mind of their own. As she entered into me, I muffled a cry by biting her shoulder. She laughed softly into my mouth, her body and fingers driving me wild. Holding my gaze she inched lower, I heard myself moan and sigh as she took my left nipple in her mouth and began to suck hard. Without breaking eye contact she slid between my legs, tongue seeking, teasing, causing my eyes to close and my back to arch. I opened my eyes, my body on the edge of oblivion, to find her watching me intently. It was a connection so intimate and intense my world imploded as I came hard, with wave after wave that ripped open my chest and destroyed me completely.

Wrapped in her arms, I kissed her tenderly, my body still aglow. As I attempted to snake my hand between her legs she caught my wrist, just as my fingertips brushed up against her soft curls and the evidence of her desire.

"Not yet." She whispered, "I just want to hold you for a minute." Her eyes held a look of open soft intimacy I had rarely seen before.

I smiled as I fell into those eyes. "Where did you come from, and what have you done with Gail?" I teased and kissed her tenderly.

She laughed softly, and looked shyly away for a moment. When she looked back her eyes were so intensely blue and trusting it took my breath away.

"I have only been thinking about you, and us, and this, every minute of the last three months." She admitted softly leaning in to kiss me again. There was a tenderness in her kiss I don't expect, it simply blew me away. The kiss deepened, and then there was only hunger, and need, and love.


	2. Chapter 2 - Love has no Pride

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_**Love has no pride when I call out your name  
Love has no pride when there's no one left to blame  
I'd give anything to see you again**_

Gail was gone. Disappeared, completely off the raider. Dov was missing too, but God help me, all I could think about was Gail! It had been twenty-seven days, five hours and seventeen minutes since we said our goodbyes at the safe house, and now twelve hours and thirty-six minutes since I had received a panicked call from Steve asking if Gail had tried to contact me. Once again I had dropped everything and run with shaking hands and a sinking feeling in my gut to Division fifteen, knowing that this time there would be no chance of Gail being there. It took me less than five minutes to make the ten minute drive.

Division fifteen was buzzing like a nest of angry hornets when I arrived. The aging patrolman barely blinked at me as I rushed past the front desk. Sam was standing in the middle of the bullpen, pointing with his cane and yelling at the Rookies to move faster. He waved at me and pointed to Frank's office where a knot of people could be seen leaning over his desk. Just as I was mounting the stairs, a hand gripped my elbow from behind.

"Hey Holly! Hey, we're going to find her. You know that, right?" Oliver was looking grim, but I was grateful for his presence just the same.

"Oliver, can you please tell me what's going on? I mean, I know this is a top secret undercover op, but it's killing me…" I knew I was starting to ramble. I had better put a lid on it fast if I was going to get any information.

"Aw, come on Holly, you know I can't do that…" He began

I gave him the kind of icy glare that would have made Gail proud.

"Come on Oliver.." I demanded. My face must have said it all because he shook his head and replied.

"Ok Holly, ok! Let me see what I can do."

He sprinted up the stairs into Frank's office and was back within minutes ushering me inside. As I entered, Frank gave me a curt little nod and Traci wrapped an arm around my waist.

"As we know," Frank continued, "the GPS in Dov's car was activated last night near London, but we lost the signal shortly after. It is believed that they may have been headed toward the border at Lasalle, but we have heard nothing from the border patrol or from our friends in the States."

Frank paused and looked around.

"Victor Sanchez has been running guns, cocaine, and heroine out of Detroit for the past few years. He has tried to establish himself as a music promoter and entertainment mogul to legitimize his business. There must be people in his organization we can squeeze. Dig deep into your contacts! We don't leave our people hanging! Does anybody have anything they would like to add?"

There was a shuffling of paperwork and feet.

"Ok! Let's get back out there! And remember, report directly to me immediately if you discover anything at all, no matter how insignificant it may seem to you!"

The sauna at the farm is stoked with wood as Gail adds another log or two to the firebox. Early morning mist rises from the fields beyond the hot tub and the stream. Gail is wearing only combat boots and a robe. She coaxed me out of bed with steaming mugs of coffee and the promise of a morning dip in the hot tub, which is apparently also heated from this wood-burning device.

"Come on!" She demands, pulling me by the hand, "I'm freezing! And I thought you were into trying new things!"

There are pegs on the wall of the alcove just inside the door, and towels on a bench below. I can't help but smile at her child-like enthusiasm. Gail can be a lot of things; she can be cynical, cold, or whiney at times, or flirty and sarcastic, she can even be sweet and thoughtful, but I love it when she is unabashedly enthusiastic and playful about something she thinks will be fun. I take a sip of my coffee and watch her over the rim of my cup. She turns from me and places her mug on the window ledge next to the door. She rotates back with wicked smile on her lips and a twinkle in her eye, her hands pulling suggestively on the sash of her robe. She undoes it slowly and lets it slide from her on to the floor. She steps forward and takes my mug from me, as she undoes the sash of my robe with her other hand. She peels it from my body, and hangs it on a peg on the wall.

"What are you doing to me?" I smile and tease feeling the air suddenly holding a charge between us.

"Nothing…" Her eyes widen with mock innocence. "Not yet, anyway." She smirks and kicks off her boots.

I laugh as she opens an inner door and leads me into the steam. Tiny droplets of water cling to each erect hair creating a halo of soft light on our skin. She steps into the warm fog, pulling me to her. Our bodies collide, our lips meet, the sensation is intoxicating.

Someone is calling my name. I don't want to be anywhere but lost in this memory with Gail. There is a hand gently shaking my left shoulder and someone is definitely trying to get my attention. I awaken with my head resting on my arms, my body hunched over Gail's desk. Ugh. I think my back is stuck this way. I manage to finally sit up. Chris is holding out a cup of coffee and looking concerned.

"Holly, Steve and Sam think they may have a line on them…" He begins.

I am suddenly fully awake, my attention darting to the white board behind the wall of glass and the growing crowd of officers.

I lurch to my feet. "Tell me what's going on Chris!" I look at the clock. It's been seventeen hours and forty-one minutes since I heard Gail was missing.

"Sam and Andy picked up one of Sanchez's runners. They are interviewing him now. We also found the body of his head of security in the back of one of his recording studios, so you might want to get back to the morgue. I can drive, cuz I know Callahan will want someone to go with you."

"Thanks Chris!" I say, sincerely glad it's him going with me.

As we enter my lab, I feel all the blood drain from me and I know I'm going to be sick.

"What is it Holly? Geeze, are you ok?" Chris says awkwardly as I run and heave the contents of my stomach into the trashcan.

"That guy…that guy…" I finally manage to reply, looking pointedly at the autopsy table, "He was the one with Gail and Dov in the trailer…"

"What! Holly, are you sure?" Chris stares at me for a moment, his face becoming ashen as well.

"Yeah, that's him. That's Sal…" I say shaking my head and trying to regain some sense of equilibrium.

"Hang on, I gotta make a call…" I hear Chris say, just before there is a deafening noise and everything goes black.


	3. Chapter 3 - Awake!

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"Come on Harry!" Hermione yells tossing him a broom, "They're gaining on us!"

"Expecto Patronum!" A giant stag bursts from the end of Harry's wand, scattering the Dementors. He kicks off with a burst of speed, his reflexes honed by years of Quiddich. They have to reach the safety of the Hogwarts castle! Ron and Ginny are waiting for them there! They speed through the twisting streets of Hogsmede, a troop of Imperial Storm Troopers hot on their tail. They are almost there when they hear the unmistakable strains of the Death Star theme song…

My mouth is dry, my entire body hurts, and there it is again, louder this time and slightly tinny. I try to open my eyes but it's like the surface of the ocean is still too far away. Damn! That must have been some crazy night at the Penny! I wish I could remember what we did. Note to self: never let Gail and Chris talk me into playing drinking games ever again! The Death Star theme song sounds again. I hear Gail groan and answer her phone, "Hello Mother. No. No, she's not awake."

She is listening to a voice I can almost hear. She is obviously eating some kind of junk food in the bedroom. I can hear her crinkling the bag and munching. I don't know why she's doing that when we agreed to keep all of the cheese puff and potato chip crumbs to the kitchen and the couch!

"No, I don't care if hell freezes over, I'm not leaving." She sighs, "I don't care how bad you think it looks. Frank said I can finish writing the report on my laptop, it's not like they don't know where I am."

Why is Gail talking so loud when she knows I'm trying to sleep? Can't she take her phone and her junk food into the other room? I realize I don't even know if we are at her place or mine.

"Like you care…" I hear her say.

I try to roll over to tell her to tone it down, when I realize I can't move. My whole body hurts. I really need a glass of water. I'm pissed off, and now I'm scared because I can't even seem to be able to open my eyes… I let out a frustrated whimper.

"Listen Mother, I gotta go! Bye!"

I hear the phone hit the bedside table with a clunk. I'm not sure I have ever heard Gail hang up on her mother that fast.

Soft warm hands are touching my face.

"Holly?" I hear her say in a barely audible voice.

My head throbs, my throat is parched, and I desperately want to open my eyes! I whimper again as the tears of frustration begin to come. I don't know why I'm being so darn emotional!

"Holly?" She kisses my forehead with lips so soft I can barely credit them. "Come on Holly! Please wake up!" She is pleading with me and I don't know why, but it breaks my heart.

"Come on Holly! I love you! Please wake up!" She begs again.

I feel her thumbs wiping away tears from my cheeks as her own tears join mine. I don't know why she's crying, but it makes me sad.

I can do this! I gasp for air and open my eyes. Her face is just inches from my own. Her eyes are the grayish blue of the lake in winter and rimmed with red. Her messy blond hair falls around us like a curtain. When did it get to be so long?

I lick my lips in a vain attempt to moisten them.

"Gail…" I croak in a harsh whisper. She is gently holding my face and sobbing my name. She leans in to kiss me briefly. Hands are gripping her shoulders trying to pull her away. I don't understand.

She whips around and snarls, "Fuck you Nurse Ratched! Can't you see we need a minute!"

Where am I? Why am I in the hospital? I try to reach for Gail, but I realize my arms are strapped to the bed.

"Touch me again, and I will personally arrest you for assaulting a police officer!" I hear her snap. That's my Gail!

"Officer Peck," A young resident is addressing her now "Although I understand your attachment to , we need you to leave the room so we can assess her neurologically and get her cleaned up. "

What do they mean assess her neurologically? This is starting to worry me.

"We will notify you once we have met with her parents, and they have consented to your visitation, and whatever necessary treatment plan we advise."

Oh no! Gail is my family! And I'm not letting some wet-nosed resident make my medical decisions!

"No! She stays!" I manage to croak with an effort than makes me breathe harder. "Gail…? Water?"

"She can have some ice chips for now." The woman Gail called Nurse Ratched says in a patronizing tone.

I watch Gail twitch and look like she is about to lose it. She takes a deep breath, narrows her eyes and smiles dangerously. "Ok, why don't you go get us some." Gail says slowly in a soft, deadly voice.

Nurse Ratched huffs and leaves the room. Gail sits on the edge of my bed and begins undoing the restraints on my arms, looking mutinously at the resident who won't meet her razor sharp, icy blue eyes. She pours water from the ugly pink plastic pitcher into a plastic cup on the hospital bed table, and holds it carefully to my lips while cradling my head in the crook of her arm. I sip gratefully, taking care not to take too much in at once. She kisses me on the forehead, her eyes watching the room like an angry panther, daring anyone to challenge her. My stomach grumbles hungrily, and I wonder when was the last time I actually ate.

"So, Miss. Peck," The resident begins again, "I really do need to examine her and getting her cleaned up. Please respect her privacy and step outside."

I reach out and grab Gail's hand. I don't know what's happened, but I do know I want her here!

"First; that would be _OFFICER_ Peck to you." Gail states rather aggressively, "And second," She lifts our hands with fingers entwined, "It looks like she wants me to stay, and I'm not going anywhere!" She looks back at me with a smile.

I tighten my grip and nod my head as best I can.

Here are some things I know for sure. My name is Holly Stewart. I am thirty-four years old, and I am a forensic pathologist with the Toronto Police Forensic Sciences Department. I specialize in crime scene reconstruction and DNA evidence. I am in love with one of Toronto's Finest, Officer Gail Peck. There seems to be something weird going on because she keeps looking at me like I'm about to disappear. I have no idea what day it is, or who the Prime Minister is now, or what my address is at work. I can't tell you what I did last week, only that Gail and I have started looking for a place of our own, and the search has been educational, and exciting, as well as a little bit terrifying. My parents live in Vancouver now, but I grew up here. I have a younger sister named Laurel, and an older brother named Ash. Yes, I know, we are all named after trees. My mother is a botanist, get over it. Anyway, Gail has a brother Steve, who is a detective at Division Fifteen, where Gail works. He is dating her closest friend Traci, and Gail loves spending time with Traci's eight year old son Leo. I've never wanted kids before, but somehow I know that Gail will make an excellent mother someday. Gail's roommates Chris and Dov have become like family to her, and lately to me. Gail likes to say they put the fun into dysfunctional. As I tell this to the resident, I watch him taking notes with a funny expression on his face that I can't place. I wonder what happened, and how long I've been out of it. All the while a small team of nurses are going about the business of removing my catheter, and the monitor wires, and the IVs from my arms. When they are done, Gail pushes them out of the room, gives me a sponge bath and changes me into real pajamas instead of a nasty hospital gown herself. In the end, I am almost too exhausted to speak.

"Gail.." I whisper and pat the bed next to me. It's all I can do, but I want her close.

She sighs, kicks off her shoes and climbs onto the edge of the bed. She seems almost afraid to touch me.

"Please get under the covers and just hold me." I whisper with some effort.

She scoots closer on her back, and I wrap my arms around her ribs, resting my head on her chest. I know I'm going to have a million questions for her later, but right now as I drift off to sleep, this is as close to Heaven as I can imagine I am ever going to get.


	4. Chapter 4 - Hide and Seek

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I was not there when the blast ripped through the forensics department, laying my friends low and sending shards of glass and metal and bone flying. I was still hiding, afraid to be lost, afraid to be found, and for that I will be forever guilty. When it all went down, I was still locked in the back of a refrigerated truck for almost two days with three cases of lettuce and about a hundred kilos of cocaine, just trying to stay alive. Lucky me. If I never see another salad again for as long as I live it will be too soon! I'm a Peck, and Pecks don't run and hide! Or, so I've been told my whole life. If I had held my ground and died, would I have won approval then? The martyr cop? The unsung hero of little girls? I doubt it. My reputation already tarnished by my lack of success and stupidity of the past.

Undercover work and I never seem to get along. I mean, the last time I did this I was abducted by a serial killer, drugged, raped, strangled into unconsciousness – twice, and chained to a fucking table for days, and then zip-tied and thrown into the trunk of his cab like so much garbage. AND to top it all off Ross Perek stabs Jerry to death, but Jerry still manages to rescue me because he was awesome like that, leaving me with a lifetime of survivor's guilt. Great. And years of therapy later, I'm still having nightmares… Just Great.

For almost four months, Dov and I had been working our way into the center of Sanchez's organization by managing three of his nightclubs that catered to a European clientele. Clubs where the cocaine flowed as freely as the Champagne. We thought Sanchez was only dealing in drugs and guns. We couldn't have been more wrong. When we got back from our much needed three-day furlough, we discovered he was also dealing in under-age girls for pain and pleasure. I don't know who had been more shocked. Dov was stoic and grim. On the other hand, I have to admit, I kinda went ballistic.

We were just about to make our bust when Katrina appeared. A twelve year girl old from Latvia, who looked like she could have been my daughter, ball-gagged and chained to the bed in our bedroom at the condo. A gift from Victor for Dov and me to share the note had said. I had been flirting with Victor Sanchez, insinuating that Dov and I liked it rough and wild. Dispose of her with Sal when you are done, the note had said. It made sick and see red all at the same time. Thank God she spoke some French, and I was learning German. This complicated things immeasurably. When it became clear that the department was willing to sacrifice the lives of these girls, in exchange for a nice clean bust, the quick recovery of more guns and drugs, and a nice public relations score, I was incredulous! Another time we were told. Dov and I took matters into our own hands. We broke into the downtown recording studio where we found Anya from Moscow, age fourteen, Maria from Prague, age twelve, and Lucia from Barcelona, age sixteen. Unfortunately, Sal and other three guys found us there too. We tried to talk our way out, but it was no use. He drew his weapon on Dov, and I had to shoot him. Dov turned and fired as he saw one of the other men pull a Glock from his belt. The girls screamed and ran. I managed to grab one as he grabbed the other two and headed for the stairs. He took the all of girls and ran up toward the roof, I ran down to the underground garage, slamming the door hard to create a diversion. I am told once he made it out onto the street, he stole a car and took the girls to the safe house after picking up Katrina at the library where we left her.

And so I was hiding when two sticks of dynamite exploded in the morgue. The catering truck was open. The men who were chasing me had called for back up. I was running out of options, I was running out of time. And so I hid in the corner of the refrigerator truck, under the blankets that I later learned were hiding the cocaine. I was there when the impact of the blast broke Chris's right leg in three places and cracked four of his ribs. I was there when Holly was thrown head first into the wall. I was there when she suffered from a fractured skull and swelling of the brain, as if her brain wasn't big enough to begin with. There is evidence that points to Sanchez bombing the morgue to destroy Sal's body. Why? We don't know. Chris and Holly had both been critically injured. I was not where they needed me. I had killed Sal. These were my crimes, and I would not be easily forgiven. Sure, both Holly and Chris are generous enough to overlook my absence, but I should have been here or dead instead of hiding.

The bust went down like clockwork. Sam and Oliver taking down Sanchez just as he was getting in his car to leave town and head back to the States. The drugs I was literally sitting on the cincher to our case. I was freezing and afraid to die when Andy opened the door to the truck. I swear, I have never been so happy to see anyone! Even her! Andy's face went from joy, to sorrow, to fear, and back to joy so fast when she found me it was like watching a cartoon.

In spite of the gross germy nature of hospitals, I have been here ever since I got back almost two weeks ago. Is it enough? I doubt it ever will be. I know I've been abusing my position as a police officer, but I don't care. I hate hospitals, but I love Holly more. I discovered that there are really only two kinds of nurses, the good kind like Monique, who lets me use the shower, brings me coffee, and likes to chat about her kids when she has a second, and the bad kind who are ridged sticklers to the rules and are offended by my presence here. Suzanne, or Nurse Ratched, as I like to call her, is the worst! I think even my bleach disinfectant wipes annoy her. This afternoon, I've been sitting here watching Holly sleep instead of working on my final report to the International Commission on Human Trafficking. I am hoping to take a shower with her when she wakes up from her nap. Monique tells me for someone who just woke up from a coma yesterday, Holly is making excellent progress, and scolds me playfully not to even think about hanky-panky, as she calls it, for another month. All I can do is smile and be grateful that looks like Holly and Chris will be ok.


	5. Chapter 5 - THe Road Home

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I am sitting up in a lounge chair by the window. This is huge! I have been conscious for the past six days and able to stay awake longer and do more each day. Today I managed to walk the seven steps to this chair by myself.

The Death Star theme song starts up on Gail's phone just as Dov wheels Chris into the room, his leg in a giant cast. I watch her wave at the boys, frown at her phone, and hit the red button.

"Oh my God! Chris! What happened to you?" I can't help staring "And Dov… What is that thing on your face?"

I laugh, Dov with the mustache, sideburns and solpatch. Wow! Crazy! I can't quite wrap my head around it.

Gail is laughing too, "Yeah, I know. It looks like a caterpillar is trying to eat Dov's upper lip."

Chris snorts. He is trying to keep a neutral face, but it isn't working. "Yeah, but that pathetic little wisp of hair on his chin is the worst."

"He grew that for our undercover in the club scene. But I think it's got to go…" Gail snickers

"Hey! Chloe likes it!" He protests.

"And there you go.." Chris raises his eyebrows with a smirk.

"Oh my God. Don't encourage him!" Gail moans

The three of them are like watching a finely tuned circus clown act, sometimes silly, sometimes dizzying, but never boring. Dov and Chris are like an old married couple with Gail thrown in to keep them on their toes. They make me smile.

"So Chris, really, what happened to you?" I ask again, feeling more nervous about this question than I should.

"You honestly don't remember?" He is looking at me with an odd expression, halfway between alarm and concern.

"Uh, no." I reply. They are all quietly looking at me now.

"What?" I demand.

The Death Star theme song starts up again. Gail looks annoyed and hits the off button on her phone.

Chris sighs. "You're going to have to answer that sometime."

"No I don't." Gail pouts

"You don't really want her ambushing one of us to get to you again, do you?" Dov is looking worried

Gail sighs and turns her phone back on. "You're only saying that because you don't want to have to live your life under an alias forever."

"So Holly," Chris is looking at me intently now, "What exactly do you remember?"

This is the question that everyone has been avoiding ever since I woke up. Gail is looking at him like she has seen a ghost. What is up with that?

"Uuuhh… I don't know…" And I didn't. In truth, the simple acts of focusing on anything like eating, or bathing, or even keeping my eyes open for any length of time, is so overwhelming I haven't really thought about it too much. My head is starting to hurt again. I rub my eyes behind my glasses.

"Don't push her Chris!" Gail hisses, looking like she might fly at him across the room.

I reached out to rest my hand on her arm. I smile when she looks at me. She is so cute when she gets herself all worked up over nothing! I would never say that to her, but it always makes me smile. I see her eyes soften just a little, and it makes me smile more.

She sighs, "You're killing me, Holly." She murmurs.

Her phone lights up again. It's the theme song from Superman this time.

"Just answer it." I sigh and close my eyes.

"Hey Steve, are you calling to do Mother's dirty work, or do you want something else?" I hear her pick up the call. "No, I don't know when I will stop being an embarrassment to her and go back on active duty."

I open my eyes and watch the boys watching her pace around the room.

"Oh please!" She rolls her eyes, "Listen, if you really want to drop by, we could use some Chinese takeout."

Leave it to Gail to get Steve to buy us lunch.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll do that." She looks up at me, "Traci sends her love."

She paces some more, fidgeting with the end of her braid, "Yup. Ok. Yeah. YES! Bye!"

"Did he make you promise to call your mom?" Chris asks

"Uh huh." She is still pacing.

"And are you…"

She stops and glares daggers at him. "Are you kidding me? What do you think? No!"

"Told ya!" Dov smirks.

Chris shrugs, rummages in the pocket of his shirt, and hands Dov a five.

I laugh, even though they are making me tired. I try to stifle a yawn. Dov shifts and says. "Hey, Chris and I will be going for a walk now. We'll be back in about an hour. I hope Steve goes to the place with the good eggrolls…"

"Uh, yeah." Chris says "See you Holly!" He nods at Gail, "Gail." He reaches out and pulls her into an awkward hug.

She is watching them go as I yawn and say, "Gail, do you think you could help me back into bed?"

As she turns I see something flicker in her eyes, but then she smiles, "Oh Holly, I love it when you talk dirty to me!" She teases and tries to keep it light, but I know that look when I see it, however briefly.

My arms are around her neck as she helps to lift me from my seat. As I steady myself on my feat, her arms come up around my waist. I lean my head on her shoulder and breathe her in. She fidgets and starts to back out of our embrace.

"Come on." She begins to steer me toward the bed, one arm still wrapped around me. I sit and she helps me lift up my legs as she tucks me under the covers. She turns to go, but I pull her back.

"Stay with me." I scoot over to one side of the bed making room for her. Looking into her eyes, I know what my face must be saying.

"Holly, I…" She fidgets and looks at the floor.

"Stay with me." I repeat. I reach out and tug at the bottom of her shirt. "Please?"

She looks up at me and the longing is back in her eyes. She sighs, kicks off her shoes and climbs into the bed. I can't help myself, I lean over and kiss her. It's something I have wanted to do all day.

"Holly…" she looks away.

"Shhh…" I turn her face back to me and kiss her again, longer this time.

"You're killing me, you know that right?" sighs into my mouth.

"I've missed you so much!" I whisper as I snuggle into her neck and feel myself begin to drift.

"You remember?" She asks quietly.

"Mmmm… not really, but some." I close my eyes.

There is a knock on the door. I feel Gail's body jump and then go ridged beneath me. Steve and Traci are standing in the doorway looking amused and slightly embarrassed. Something smells delicious! Gail is groggy and struggling to get up. Steve laughs, "It's ok Gail! You can stay right there!" He places two large bags from Dragon Chef on the window ledge.

I reach down and work the controls on the bed so it sits us upright. Traci moves the table in our direction. Steve is dishing us out paper plates of fried rice, Hong Kong style noodles and some kind of crispy chicken when the boys reappear and start to fight over who gets the last eggroll.


	6. Chapter 6 - Remember

**Holly comes home. Thanks for reading! **

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Data wakes up to find himself strapped to a table surrounded by the Borg. Hmmm… Interesting. He knows he is on the Enterprise in engineering, but it is all wrong. He watches with detached fascination as the Borg Queen descends and is clamped into her body. He never realized before what a sensual creature she really is. She approaches his prone form and begins to sing,

"How'd you do I, see you've met my, faithful handyman. He's just a little brought down because, when you knocked, he thought you were the, candy man…"

It's only then that Data looks down and realizes he is no longer in uniform…

I'm sure it is the sound of shuffling feet and the refrigerator door being opened that has woken me from my nap. The next thing that I am somewhat painfully aware of is the hard plastic of a joystick digging into my lower back. Why did I agree to stay here instead of at my own apartment? As I arch my back and roll away from the offending object I hear something crunch and crinkle under my head. I am sure if I dig under the nest of pillows and blankets I am resting on I will find a long forgotten, half eaten, bag of junk food.

Today I'm alone in Gail's apartment, or was, catching up on my reading and my sleep. The real reason I'm here is because this apartment is not only home to Gail, and Chris, and Dov, but their living area is almost like the Division fifteen common room. Everyone, or so it seems, has a key and comes and goes, taking showers and eating meals, or hanging out on the couch watching TV, or playing video games between shifts. I know that it makes Gail feel better to know that chances are, at least three of her friends from the squad will drop by at different intervals during her shift and, in the process, check on me. The couch is a massive, lumpy, leather affair that Chris and Dov found in an ally one night on patrol, and dragged home in Chris's truck after their shift. Warm afternoon sunlight is coming through the windows, but the apartment is cold. I pull the large blue afghan Chris made while he was in the hospital tighter around me. He has gone back to work too, sporting a metal brace on his injured leg. I'm not really ready to open my eyes in hopes of being able to drift off to sleep again. There is the sound of what I'm sure is beer being opened, and the feet shuffling towards the bathroom. The shower starts running, and I might just have another half an hour of undisturbed rest.

It's funny the way the mind works. I can still remember the name of every bone in the human body, but it took me three weeks of frustration and anger to remember how to tie my shoes. I know that Gail likes to drink her coffee with just a bit of milk, and her tea, earl grey, with more sugar and cream than anyone should be allowed, but I can't for the life of me remember what I ate for breakfast, or where I left my book, or my keys half the time. The doctors say that I'm improving, but my impatient consternation about what I still can't do is multiplying by the day. Because I am still at risk of having a stroke or a seizure, I am still not allowed to drive, or run, or engage in sexual activity. In-fact I am supposed to keep all strenuous activity limited to less than an hour every day. While I find even riding in a car somewhat overwhelming, my body craves exercise, the satisfying pull on pelvis, and abs, and thighs when I hit my stride that makes me feel like I could run forever, the deep intake of fresh clean air, and the headspace running brings that nothing can replace. And then there are days when I am so damn horny I just want to scream. Ok, there are days, when I am alone, that I do scream, and cry. I've started doing Yoga in the morning with Gail, but it's just not the same.

Things are getting better. In the beginning, I couldn't even remember how to read. That came back quickly though. Within two weeks, with the help of my mom, I was back up to an eighth grade reading level. That, and my ability to write have all but returned to normal. There are still giant gaps in my memory that haunt the edges of my mind. The scent of wood smoke brought back the three days spent with Gail at the safe house farm with such force I cried. It was the last time we made love. The memory of that night returned with images, and sound, and tactile sensations, so clear I was undone. With that came more vague memories of Gail's absence, her undercover assignment, and snippets about the case. There is something important I need to remember, but the harder I try, the more illusive it becomes. It's right there, just out of reach, taunting me. I can only hope it comes back before it's too late.

The water stops running, and several minutes later the shuffle of feet is back, along with the scent of some kind of tropical shampoo.

"Hey Holly! How are you feeling?" Chloe chirps at me from across the room.

I open my eyes and roll into a sitting position. Chloe is wearing a giant white terrycloth robe and fuzzy pink slippers, her hair wrapped in a towel.

"Uh hi! I'm good!" I smile and respond as briefly as possible.

"Great!" She replies happily, "You know, when I woke up from my coma last year, I was really confused at first, but then it was like I got a whole new lease on life…"

Gail is so right. Where did this girl come from, The Sound of Music? My eyes glaze over. I can see her lips moving as she gazes whimsically off into the distance, and gestures with the hand that is holding her beer. I am beginning to worry that she is going to spontaneously burst into song when I notice the time. And…saved by the bell!

"Gosh Chloe, I just saw the time and remembered that I promised to call my mom." I grab my glasses from the coffee table and get up to make good my escape.

"Aw, that's so sweet!" She muses as she sits down on the couch and flips on the Disney Channel. "Now why can't Gail be more like that?"

Yup. And now I have to go.

Unlike Gail, I like my mom! I think Gail was both surprised and impressed when my parents dropped everything and rushed to my side the instant they found out I had been hurt. Gail got along well with them, much to her surprise, and to her greater surprise, they like her. My family is a bunch of do-gooding hippies who are out to save the world, as Gail likes to say. I swear my parents have done more for gay and lesbian youth since I came out, the summer after I graduated from High School, than anyone else I know. My father is a retired professor of mathematics, and my mother is a botanist. Together they founded Garden of Hope, a residential farm and school for displaced GLBT teens on Salt Spring Island, just a ferry ride away from Vancouver. My brother, Ash, works for Unicef digging wells and teaching permaculture in sub-Saharan Africa, and my sister Laurel is a performance artist in San Francisco with a burlesque cabaret act that is all about safe sex and the rights of women in the sex industry. I think Gail must have asked her about a billion stupid questions with the unselfconscious curiosity of a child when they met in my room at the hospital. Which, I am sure, amused Laurel to no end.

I am just about to retreat into Gail's room when the door opens. Gail and Dov stumble in, laughing so hard they are holding on to each other so as not to fall over. I realize they are both soaking wet and kind of muddy.

"Oh God!" Dov can barely gasp out "The look on his face when he realized the fountain he created was the water main…"

"Yeah," Gail snorts, "But the best part was the little dog.."

The two of them dissolve into a fit of laughter. Gail is downright giddy.

"Hey!" I smile at them and raise my eyebrows, "You're home early, and what's so funny?"

"You know how we've all been assigned to the construction by the Arena, right?" Dov begins, a silly grin growing on his face, "So the guy digging with the large backhoe thing hits a water main, and next thing you know there is this giant fountain shooting out of the ground."

"Did we mention that Us Festival tickets had just gone on sale?" Gail begins to laugh again.

"Oh yeah, so Us Festival tickets have just gone on sale when this happens, and all hell breaks loose! There is water, and mud, and wet people running everywhere." Dov is excitedly gesturing with his hands. Chloe is smiling and watching him from the edge of her seat. "And this tiny little dog…"

"Chihuahua.." Gail interrupts

"Right. Chihuahua," Dov continues, "jumps out of this old ladies bag and gets into the front seat of McNally's cruiser, and it keeps growling and barking at her and it won't let her back in to her car."

"Oh my God! Really?" Chloe is looking at Dov with wide eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, it had to be like three pounds or less. And Andy has no idea what to do. So finally the old lady comes over and is like, Oh Officer just pick him up, he's harmless. And so Andy goes to reach if it and it latches on to the sleeve of her shirt, and it won't let go…"

"So, was Andy hurt?" I inquire cautiously

"Oh no," Gail replies "It was just hanging from the fabric of her shirt by its nasty little teeth, with all of its stupid little legs flailing in the air." She claws at the air in front of her with her fingers in demonstration.

"And then," Dov cuts in again, "the old lady just comes over and scoops it back into her bag, and is like – Oh Pookey, you bad, bad dog.."

"Pookey?" I lift an eyebrow

"Pookey. Hey!" He yells as he notices Gail edging toward the bathroom, "I called first shower!" They scramble and dash, but Gail gets there first.

"Ha ha!" she taunts, and slams the door in his face.

Gail went back to work just over two weeks ago, and I have been spending a lot of time with Celery during the day. Celery and Oliver have been invaluable in helping me survive my traumatic brain injury, having dealt with one themselves last year. Oliver likes to drop by in the mornings with donuts and coffee, weather or not he is on duty. On one particularly hard day, a day when I couldn't get my shoes tied, he sat me down waiving a jelly cruller in the air, and admitted, in a round about Oliver way, that he might still need Celery to help him tie his neckties, if he chose to wear one. Celery is so sweet, she insists on making me her herbal anti-anxiety tea free of charge, which I have found helps far more than any of the SSRI drugs I was on for a while.

I am sitting on the edge of Gail's bed drinking my tea when Gail enters. Daylight filtering in through the window illuminates the room. She is wearing only light grey sweats and a Police Academy hoodie that is two sizes too large, her hair is still loose and damp. She hesitates as she sees me put down my mug. The memory of her, on that first night at the farm comes rushing back, inundating my senses.

"Hey." She says softly

"Hey." I repeat reaching for her hands to pull her closer. She is standing between my knees as I rest my head on her chest. My hands take on a life of their own, unzipping her sweatshirt to reveal her soft torso. I slide my hands under her sweatshirt, up the smooth skin of her back and lean in, pressing the softness of my cheek into her sternum.

"Holly," She says quietly, her fingers digging into my shoulders as she tries to back away, "Do you think this is such a good idea?"

"Is what such a good idea?" I can hear her heart beating, its steady rhythm anchors me here.

"You know Holly," She says, "This."

"I dunno…" I press my lips to where my cheek has been. "You just feel so nice." I murmur into her chest. I feel her shiver at the movement of my lips. I look up into her eyes. Gail looks like she's trying not to cry. It surprises me.

"Oh, babe…" I sigh, "don't be so sad. Come here!" I pull her down to me so that she is sitting in my left leg. Her forearms rest loosely on my shoulders. I lean in to kiss her, but she pulls slightly away.

"Holly…don't…" she whispers

I kiss her neck just below her right ear instead. She lets out a sigh that sounds like a suppressed moan. "Don't what?" I whisper in her ear. My right hand is resting on the soft fabric covering her inner thigh. I tug gently at the drawstring of her pants.

"We can't… I don't… I don't want to hurt you…" She whispers

"You won't…" I can't help myself anymore. I need to touch her. I slip my hand inside her pants and touch the wet heat I knew would be there. She breathes in sharply as her whole body convulses at my touch. I know I'm going to win. I feel her legs part incrementally. I slip one finger slowly inside of her. She moans and kisses me hard.

"Holly… I…" She whispers in a low hushed tone, breathing hard.

"Ssshhh…" I move my hand faster now. I know it's not going to take much. She is so beautiful with her head thrown back and her eyes shut. She bites her lip and tries not to cry out as she cums, her body starts to shake uncontrollably, silent tears roll down her cheeks. I slowly remove my hand as she opens her eyes. I can't help myself. Without breaking eye contact, I raise my hand to my mouth and lick her slowly off of my fingers. Her eyes widen and her whole body convulses again.

"You are so bad…" She laughs softly.

I lean my forehead against hers and smile. Mission accomplished. "You're welcome." I breathe out.

We crawl onto the bed and hold each other close. "I've missed you. I've missed this." I say as I kiss her again softly, trying to get my raging hormones under control.

"I've missed us too." She admits, pulling me even closer. Her hand slides up under my shirt and caresses my lower back. I let myself get lost in the sensation as her fingers trace mindless patterns on my skin. I close my eyes and hear myself practically purr. This may not be everything, but right now, it's enough.


	7. Chapter 7 - Gone Again

The playful warmth of spring had melted into the languid heat of summer, bright colorful flowers turning to dark green vegetative growth, fruit beginning to ripen on the vine, but I have barely noticed. I had been back to work for just a few short weeks when they had gone again. This time, Dov and Gail disappearing under cover so deep, not even Luke knew where to find them.

The bodies of young girls having been tortured during sex were beginning to turn up more often. Killed carefully as to make it look like suicide. But I knew better. The dead have no voices, and for that I am grateful. They could only taunt me with doubt and nag me with fear as they silently told stories of violent ends. Where I once had seen the lives laid out before me as intriguing puzzles to be solved, apprehension made me hesitate before entering my lab, lest I find Gail or Dov on my table. My work became a growing obsession between my need to slay each moment without a whisper of her in it, and the fear that clenched my throat shut against uttering the words that might breathe life into my nightmares. My vigil grew more silent with each passing day, until I discovered that I had no desire to speak at all unless it was necessary. At first I took refuge in her bed as I had before, but as time passed, I could no longer bear to watch the deepening lines on Chris's face. We never spoke anymore, or hung out, afraid to see in each other the dread both of us were desperately trying to deny as the days lengthened to weeks, and weeks to months. I couldn't bring myself to go to the beach or the park where I used to love to run. I missed her like an amputee misses the detached limb, feeling the phantom pain of her ghost as I looked up suddenly from my work, expecting to find her standing in my doorway, or listening for her keys in my door at night.

The International Commission on Human Trafficking working in conjunction with the Toronto Police Force and a variety of other international agencies had recruited Gail and Dov. The combination of Gail's language skills and Dov's ability to just blend, along with their knowledge of the inner workings of Sanchez's organization made them the perfect fit. Right now, they could literally be anywhere in the world. I was there when she took the call. We had just finished dinner and were getting ready to spend an evening of video gaming and beer with the boys. I knew by the way she held her shoulders and the set of her jaw what it was before she said a word , and that I couldn't keep her, no matter how much I needed her. The thought of teenage girls from Eastern Europe being bought and sold to be broken by pedophiles made Gail rage white hot and ice cold. They left at five o clock the next morning.

My phone rings.

Ugh. I must have fallen asleep at my desk again. Crap! I didn't even take my glasses off. What time is it anyway? The morgue is silent and still. My phone sounds again, and I answer it without looking to see who it is.

"Hello, this is Dr. Stewart.."

"It's three o clock in the morning, your time, Holly! Don't tell me you fell asleep at your desk. Again."

I sigh into my phone, "Hey Laurel, what's up? How was your show?" I stifle a yawn.

"I'm sending you a plane ticket." My sister responds.

"What? No!"

"Yes!" She replies, "I know you are pulling all kinds of crazy overtime and have a number of comp days you can take, so you are coming out for a long weekend."

"I came out years ago." My attempt at a weak joke falling flat.

"Very funny Hol." She retorts. I can hear the smirk in her voice as she says it though. "Come on! You've always said you want to see San Francisco. Besides, look at you! You're a mess! I can show you the city, we can do the tourist thing, we can do the gay thing, Heck, I can even get you laid…"

"LAUREL!" I exclaim. She laughs. Laurel is straight, well mostly, but oh so sex-positive. She loves it when she thinks she can shock me.

"Oh come on! The girls have seen your picture. They think you're smokin'!" The smirk in her voice is back.

I've seen pictures of the women in her burlesque troupe too. If I were single… "I could never do that to Gail." I say and hear my voice soften and almost break at the mention of her name.

"She's going to be ok." Laurel tries to sound reassuring, "Listen, we can take a few days and drink our way through wine country, ok?"

"Ok." I hear myself concede. She could be right. It might be good to get away for a few days.

"Cool!" Laurel replies, "I'll see you in three weeks!"

I am sitting on the deck overlooking the garden at Wildside West, a neighborhood lesbian bar in the Burnal Heights neighborhood of San Francisco, drinking a tasty craft beer. While a storm still rages in my head, I am feeling much more relaxed than I have in a long time. Laurel and her boy toy are late, per usual, but I am enjoying some time by myself. I've been drinking beer and people watching for about an hour now.

I watch a couple climbing the stairs, smoking a joint, and giggling to each other. The man is rail thin and tall, showing of two full sleeves of tattoos that continue under his white tank top. He head is fully shaved and he would be attractive if not for something shifty about his eyes. He says something to her in French about their flight to Tokyo. He has a thick Parisian accent and I wish my French were better, not that I should be eavesdropping. I can tell that she is beautiful, even though I can't see her face. Everything about her says sex and style, from her form-fitting, short, red dress, to her well cut dark inverted bob. She has one arm wrapped around his waist and her other hand is clutching the front of his shirt. She mumbles something into his chest in response, obviously stoned. As they reach the top of the stairs she looks up. A jolt of shock and surprise courses through me, as her sharp blue eyes meet mine and freeze for just an instant. My heart stops. Time stands still. Gail? I get up and franticly follow them inside, but they are gone.

The bar is dark inside. Something for which I am grateful as I sag onto a barstool. The bartender is a butch, broad, woman with a crewcut. She sees my distress and comes over.

"Honey, are you ok?" She asks in a gravelly voice.

"Yeah, yeah," I reply, my voice is trembling. I pick up my beer with a shaky hand and say "My mistake. Just someone I thought I knew…" I feel a tear slide down my face

"It's ok Hun, these things happen." She hands me a bar napkin like it was nothing, and tops off my beer from the tap.

"Thanks!" I reply. I sigh heavily, and say "Can I leave my beer here while I go freshen up? I'm supposed to be meeting my sister and I don't want her to see me like this!"

"Go ahead, take your time." She smiles at me in a kindly way.

I just finish my splashing cold water on my face, and am standing, looking at myself in the mirror when the door bursts open. I am slammed against the wall as her lips crash into mine, her hands fisting in the collar of my shirt. Her body presses hungrily to me, her mouth is ravenous, her tongue insistent. I am in shock as my hands automatically go to her waist and my knees give way.

"Holly…" She whispers in my ear. She sucks in a giant gulp of air as she lets go of my shirt, spins on her expensive tall, black pumps and practically runs from the room.

What just happened? Gail? Gail! My head is on fire, my heart is pounding, beating at least a million miles per second. I follow just moments behind. I scan the bar. I rush out onto the street just in time to see her vanish into a waiting car.


	8. Chapter 8 - What I must do

_If you could only see the way that she loves me _

_Maybe you would understand_

_Why I feel this way about our love_

_And what I must do_

_If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says_

_When she says she loves me_

Tonic

It's late. I know it is, but I knock again anyway, louder this time. I wait. His truck is here, I saw it in the lot, but maybe he is out. I'm just about to go when I hear the scuffle of feet and the sliding open of the lock. Chris stands in the doorway looking rumpled, wearing only boxer shorts. I realize he looks like a little boy when he wakes up, his face still puffy with sleep, his hair is standing out from his head at odd angles.

"Holly… hey…" he blinks at me with a puzzled expression. "Come in. Come in." he stands aside to permit my entry.

We go into the kitchen and he busies himself with the coffee maker. I am so wound up, I can't sit still, so I pace.

"I saw her Chris! I saw her!" I finally blurt out, unable to contain it anymore.

He turns and looks at me, arms crossed over his chest. What is that I see in his eyes, pity?

"Holly…" he begins in a soft gentle voice. Yeah, that was pity.

"No Chris! I did!" I insist, cutting off whatever he was about to say.

"Ok…" He says slowly, "Listen Holly, would you mind if I went and put on a shirt or something?"

"No, no, go ahead." I continue to pace.

He's back in seconds wearing a t-shirt and gym shorts. He leans, hands braced on the edge of the counter behind him. "So, Holly, you think you saw Gail in San Francisco?" He looks confused.

"I did! I did see her!" I insist, "And she kissed me too!"

"WHAT?" Chris looks shocked and pushes himself on to his feet. "Ok, maybe you had better start at the beginning."

"So you know I was visiting my sister, Laurel, for a week." I say. He nods.

"Have you even been home yet?" He asks

"No. But just listen!" I take a page out of Gail's book and smack him on the arm.

"Ow! Ok! Tell me." He says rubbing his arm.

"Well I was people watching at this lesbian bar, well mostly lesbian bar, there are other people there too. Anyway, I see this couple coming up from the garden, they are speaking French, and I'm thinking wow, the woman is beautiful, in a classic nineteen forties way, and then she looks up, and it's Gail! And she freezes for just a second and stumbles when she sees me…"

"Wait, wait…" Chris interrupts, "How come you didn't know it was her when you first saw her?"

"Oh, well, she looks completely different!" I explain, "First of all, her hair is dark, almost black, and cut stylishly short. And she was wearing this crazy, little red dress with black pumps. A look that is so not our Gail. HOT, but just not the Gail we know. Expensive. You know."

"Ok…" Chris says again, trying to wrap his head around it all. "And…?

"And, I tried to look for them in the bar but they were gone." I stop pacing and look at him.

"Wait, I thought you said she kissed you." Chris looks confused again.

"Ok. Yeah. So then, I go into the restroom to try to pull myself together before Laurel shows up with her latest boy, and I forget to lock the door…" I close my eyes, suddenly flooded with the memory, "And Gail bursts in and kisses me for all she's worth, and then she literally runs out and gets into a car."

"Huh." Chris says, clearly attempting to process all of this. "Did you see Dov too? Or just Gail?"

"No Chris. I'm sorry, it was just the two of them." I say, looking into his worried eyes.

"Oh." He looks at the floor for a minute "Well, that's ok, Holly." He looks back at me, "So, would you know this guy again if you saw him?"

"Yeah, why?" And then it dawns on me what he's asking, "Oh! I mean, um yeah! And I got the license plate number of the car she got into too!"

"Great!" He smiles, and pushes himself upright. "Just let me put some clothes on, and I can meet you at the morgue in twenty."

"Ok!" I agree. This is not what I expected, but I'm ok with that.

"Oh, do you want to call Steve, or should I?" He asks as I am almost out the door.

"Do you think that's such a good idea?" I ask, wondering how Steve is going to react to our snooping into a very sensitive case involving Gail.

"You know Holly, if we don't tell him, he'll be pissed! I mean, I would be." Chris replies. "Ya know, don't worry. I'll do it. Just, just go."

* * *

It's seven thirty in the morning, and we have been here for hours. Steve and Chris and I are all stuffed into my office, huddled around my computer running Gail's mystery man's description on InterPol, but I haven't seen him yet. Brisk footsteps can be heard coming down the hall. They stop at my office door and we all look up to find Superintendant Elaine Peck standing in my doorway. She does not look pleased.

"Uh, hi Mom!" Steve says, standing up quickly.

"Don't you hi mom me, young man!" She shoots him an icy glare, and I can see clearly where Gail gets it from. "I need you to shut that off right now and come with me!" She commands.

"Wait." I say, "How did you know what we were doing?" I enquire, a little more sharply than I had, perhaps, intended.

"Don't be silly." She is looking at me with an amused, superior smile, "I've been monitoring the three of you for months!"

"You, you WHAT?" I am incredulous! "You've been bugging my computer?"

"Of course." She smiles again without humor or warmth, "How else was I going to catch you, when I knew that sooner or later you would do this?" The smile vanishes as quickly as it came. "Now come with me!" She orders and begins to march down the hall.

"Why do I feel like we've just been caught smoking behind the bleachers and we are getting sent to the Principal's office?" I grumble

"Because we are." Steve sighs.

After a tense and silent ride in the back seat of her car, Superintendent Peck marches us through the Toronto Police headquarters like a pack of naughty children, up the elevator, and directly into her office.

"Have a seat!" she points to a bench on the far wall of her office. She sits down at her desk and immediately begins typing something at her computer. The room is silent. Forty-seven minutes later, she looks up at us.

"Oh my goodness!" She says, looking at her watch, "I had no idea it was getting to be so late!" She stands up and comes around her desk, spinning her monitor to face us as she goes. There appear to be a number of open documents and browsers. "If you will excuse me, I have a meeting to go to. It might just take all day, but I expect you all to be here when I return. If you need anything, Lois, my assistant, will be bringing you lunch around noon." She leaves the room, closing and locking the door behind her.

Steve is the first to move. He stands up and makes his way over to an elaborate display case on the wall to the left of her desk. When he turns back around, he is holding three glasses and crystal decanter full of brown liquid.

"I don't know about you, but I need a drink!" He places them on her desk and pours.

The scotch hits my throat like fire, lighting up my stomach, and illuminating my veins.

"Ok. Let's do this!" Chris says, flipping to a virtual facial reconstruction and recognition software that I would kill to have access to at my lab.

By the time noon rolls around, we have compiled quite a bit of information on the Sanchez family's movements, businesses and associates. It seems that there are a number of orphanages throughout the less affluent parts of Europe where young teens are being offered a life of fame and fortune through the Sanchez music industry business. There are some that go that route, some are adopted by wealthy families, both here and in the States, the rest simply disappear. The man I saw Gail with turns out to be Luc Dufort, a club promoter in Paris, Prague, Bangkok and Toronto. with a number of unsolved crimes for which he is a suspect.

Lunch arrives on a catering cart from the executive kitchen. There are more than enough fancy sandwiches, chips and cookies than we need. Steve helps himself to a chocolate chocolate-chip first, which makes me laugh, because that would be so Gail, if she were here. We are just beginning to track Dufort's recent movements via some high tech satellite feed that I'm sure we don't normally have access to, when the door opens. Superintendant Peck is back.

"So," She practically croons, "How is it going? Do we have everything we need?"

"Well Ma'am, we seem to be making progress." Chris says in a flat tone.

"Thank you Charlie, but I was asking my son, as ranking officer, of course." She smiles dismissively at him.

"What about Holly?" Chris challenges, "I'm pretty sure her being a doctor and all, as well as her pay-scale out ranks us both."

"Don't be silly Charlie," She snaps, "That woman is an outside consultant. Steven?"

Steve rolls his eyes, and gives a report of what we have discovered, so far. When he is done, Elaine packs everything we printed out so far into her bag, looks sternly at us all and says, "You have all been reassigned to me, for now. You will not speak of this to anyone outside of this room! Lock up when you are done for the night. I expect you to report back here first thing in the morning.

Time passes quickly, and then much too slow. We have been camped out around Gail's mother's desk, in her office suite for five days now. I am hunkered down in front of the second computer that appeared on the third day, willing it to process data faster. Chris is in the shower. Steve is lying on the bench, reading tour schedules and profit reports, his unfinished dinner on the floor beneath him, when the door bursts open and Elaine, as we have been asked to call her, pokes in her head looking smug.

"I'm glad to see you are making such good progress!" She says with her cold, cold smile. Sharks must smile like that at seals, I think to myself.

"I thought you might be able to use some help." She smiles again.

She steps aside to open the door wider and reveal Dov standing there next to her. I leap from where I am crouching behind her desk and run to greet him. Steve gets up too, he extends a hand in greeting. Dov is looking rough. He is gaunt, and dirty, and his face looks like it's been smashed by a baseball bat. Chris comes out of the bathroom wearing only his jeans, and freezes. He breaks into a giant smile and rushes to grab Dov by the shoulders.

"Hey Brother!" Chris greets him as they embrace.

"Where is Gail? I ask suddenly alarmed.

Dov sighs and slumps on the bench next to Steve. He holds his head in his hands for a moment, running his fingers nervously through his hair.

"I don't know." He sits up and looks around the room at all of us. "I don't know." He repeats as if trying to clear his head. "She and Luc were supposed to meet me at the recording studio two days ago, but they never showed."

"What recording studio?" Steve asks, sharply

"The one here, behind Club Venus." Dov replies "Anyway, I spoke to her when they landed in San Francisco. They were coming back from Tokyo, and decided to stay in California for a few days before coming back here. Luc said something about meeting with a Hollywood producer… Shit! I can't remember.."

"It's ok, take your time and tell us what happened." Steve said.

"Ok, ok," Dov began, "So we found the adoption agency that was funneling the girls to Sanchez Entertainment. We were waiting for Gail and Luc to return from Bangkok and Tokyo to do the bust along with the FBI on the other side of the border. And then you know they didn't show up when they were supposed to. I mean, there was this warehouse in London, and there must be at least one hundred girls who we saved from the kind of abuse… but, they're gone… Gail's disappeared"

He hung his head between his knees, exhausted.

I felt like someone had punched me hard. I looked over to see Steve's face go white and Chris close his eyes. Chris leaned over to grip Dov's shoulder.

"Do you need anything? Coffee? A shower? Food?"

Dov shook his head staring at the floor.

"We will find her! We will." Chris continued, "You're tired. I mean Christ! You look like hell! Why don't you take a nap while we work, and then you can start telling us all of the places where you think she might be."

There was nothing left to do, but hope, and go back to work.


	9. Chapter 9 - The Return

_I'm out of touch_

_I'm out of love_

_I'll pick you up when you're getting down_

_And out of all these things I've done _

_I think I love you better now_

Dov stepped aside and motioned us into the trailer. Another man rose from the kitchen table to greet us. He was large with a salt and pepper crew cut. He had scars under his eyes, and on his hands like he had been a fighter. "Hey Johnny!" He greeted Luke

"Hey Sal, what's up?" they shook hands and did the half hug guys do.

Luke wrapped his arm around my waist while he made the introductions,

"Sal, this is Dr. Susan Johnson, Suzie, this is Sal."

Sal offered me a large meaty hand, there was a curious scar on his forearm, five jagged spheres in the shape of a V, almost as if tiny stars had branded it there. We shook hands "Is your girl really a doc, Johnny? Cuz she's too pretty to be a doc!" He winked at me.

"What can I do for you?" I inquired while looking around for any sign of Gail.

Sal looked at his hands and shook his head. "Dave's lady managed to get herself knocked up, so we were hoping you could help us take care of it quietly."

I barely managed to stifle a sharp intake of breath and felt myself flush, my heart beating in my mouth.

"You don't have a problem with that, do you?" Dov was looking at me sharply.

I shook my head.

"Look, " Sal said, "She's in the back. We had to teach her a lesson, so maybe you could help clean her up a little too."

"Let me examine her, and I will let you know what I can do." I offered

Dov opened the door at the back of the trailer and ushered me into a dark bedroom. I was suffocating in the inky, hot, blackness. I couldn't breathe! Gail had to be here somewhere! She had to! I was franticly searching for her on all fours now. Where could she be? I was being sucked down into the impenetrable darkness, quicksand eroding beneath me, heaviness pulling me down. I heard Gail sobbing, I knew she was in labor, giving birth without assistance, I had to help her somehow…

My eyes flew open as I sat bolt upright with a gasp! Of course! I remember now! I knew what it was, and I knew where I had seen it before! The events of the night Luke and I had picked up Dov and Gail to go to the safe house, along with the moments before the blast had cracked my scull, came flooding back to me with such veracity, it could be right now. I shook my head and blinked, trying to clear my head of the visions swimming before my eyes in full Technicolor. Shit! I had to get back to the boys, and fast!

Over the past two days since Dov's reappearance in our midst, I had managed to work myself into a state of complete exhaustion, determined to find Gail alive, and in one piece. I had refused to leave my research station at the main computer console, had barely eaten and spoke only when necessary. Several hours ago, Steve had found me, slumped over my keyboard, and gently carried me to the back room and tucked me into bed, scarcely waking me once.

" I remember!" I exclaim as I burst into the room. "The Midas Society! That's what it was!"

The three men look up from the map they are studying to stare at me as if I'd lost my mind.

"Holy conspiracy theories Batgirl!" Dov proclaims lifting one eyebrow skeptically at me. "Slow down."

The other two stare blankly at us.

Dov turns to them and explains "The Midas Society was allegedly a secret society of wealthy men, who basically wanted to use their wealth and power to live a decedent lifestyle outside the law. It was formed during the gold rush by a group of five men, who had made millions on mining, prostitution, and liquor. It is said that in order to join, a man must be invited in by an existing member who is willing to gift one million dollars to the Midas Society's bankroll. But it doesn't really exist. Does it? I mean, I just spent six months with these people… Why do you think it's the Midas Society?"

"Sal had what looked like a brand on his forearm, five stars in the shape of a V, or the constellation Taurus, as in the Minotaur. That must be why they wanted to destroy his body." I muse aloud.

"You know," Dov says, "Club Venus has that V with the five stars in its logo. Wait a minute! I need to call my liaison at the FBI! I think I know where Gail is!"

He gathers our combined notes and maps, and heads to the computer with the secure video feed.

The night is quite and thick with the aroma of wild roses and honeysuckle. A warm gentle breeze plays in Steve's hair as he leans on the hood of his car. I walk over to lean next to him. Dov and Chris are in the car behind, softly playing the radio and talking in voices too low for me to make out the words. I've been on edge all day, knowing that this might be it! The light in the distance moves closer in our direction. We watch as the small plane circles on its approach, its engines briefly drowning out the crickets and the hum of the cicadas. Dov and Chris get out of their car and stand on the tarmac. Dov had asked Gail's mom if she would like to join us at her daughter's homecoming, but she had declined, briskly informing us of the Police Officer's Pension Fundraiser at the Lake Shore Hotel, where she would be a personal guest of the Chief. The plane circles again and drops its landing gear.

Seven days ago they found her, stuffed in a shipping crate on its way out to sea from the San Francisco Bay. The clip of her gun was empty, the child she was holding could have been no more than six. For a moment they weren't sure she was still alive, until she opened her eyes. The child was dead. She had died in Gail's arms after Gail tried to rescue her from the ship's captain. The Russian mob was somehow involved.

Luc Dufort had not been so lucky. They found him too, a neat bullet hole between his eyes. Gail was given medical attention, and questioned by every agency involved in the case before they sent her home.

We watch the plane make its final descent and roll to a stop. It seems to take forever before the door opens and the stairs pop out. I hear Dov and Chris get out of the car behind us. I find I can't move, I grip the edge of the car where I am leaning with white knuckles, my eyes are riveted to the doorway of the plane. Two men wearing dark grey suites emerge. They nod at Steve as they walk by. And then, she's there, standing at the top of the stairs looking left and then right across the dark runway. The boys have already begun to move in her direction. She spots them, nods once, and descends. I think I saw her shoulders sag a little, but then they are all greeting her. There is hugging, and laughter that floats back to me across the warm night air as Steve picks up her bag and they turn as one unit to walk back to the cars. I can tell how tired she must be by the way she moves.

They are still a ways away when she looks up and freezes as she spots me. The boys keep walking, leaving her standing alone on the tarmac. I take a deep breath, push myself off the hood of the car and walk toward her, my heart pounding in my throat. As I get closer, I can't help it, I feel myself begin to smile. She looks so vulnerable standing there, head bowed slightly, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt.

"Holly. Hey." She says in a voice just above a whisper.

"Hey." I reply, reaching out to take her hands in mine. I pull her to me, and feel her sag and sigh as our body's fit together.

"I didn't think you had come." She says softly into my neck, and holding me tighter. "I'm really glad you're here!"

"I've been going crazy ever since San Francisco!" I murmur in her ear.

She wearily sighs again, "Holly, the places I have been, the crazy shit I've done..."

"We tell each other things? Right? I mean whatever it is, we can get through this…" I know that I'm starting to ramble on.

"I don't, I don't know if you will still want me after I tell you. Holly, I…" She whispers

I realize in that moment that I just don't care. All I know is that she has come home, and that she's safe now, and we are together. I reach out and cup her face in my hands. I can tell she knows what's coming, because we both lean in. Our lips meet and I know that this is all that matters. So I kiss her with everything I have. As we pull away I look her deep into her eyes.

" I love you, and you just had to stop talking…" I feel myself smile as I say this. I rest my forehead against hers.

She smiles back, "I won't say another word."


	10. Chapter 10 - Testimony

The girl had been dropped, and lay broken on the deck. She reminded me of a doll, limbs splayed out at unnatural angles. Fifteen more girls, between the ages of nine and sixteen were in a holding cell, and safe, for now, or so I hoped. Jeremy, my FBI handler, said that you never know what you might be capable of until lives are on the line. I shot Luc between the eyes while he was sleeping, with his own gun, and then tossed it overboard. I guess I'm no better than him, but at least I'm alive and so are the girls! I hid his body in a crate to buy myself some time. I needed to make it to the radio before we hit international waters! I was desperate! With Luc gone, there was the Captain and a skeleton crew of five men to deal with. I loaded my gun with a fresh clip and put an extra clip in my pocket. Fear prickled on my skin. It raised the hair on my back and put a giant knot in my throat. I have never been so alone, and without back up of any kind in my life! I wish I spoke Russian better. And then the girl on the deck whimpered… In the end, I wounded the Captain and killed two members of his crew, before I ran and hid with the mortally wounded little girl in my arms. At least she didn't die while being tortured or alone. In her last dying seconds, she opened her big green eyes and smiled at me while squeezing my fingers in her tiny hand; a moment in time that will haunt me forever.

That was fourteen days ago. Today, there is combat of a different kind to endure. Dov and I are here to testify before a panel of the International Commission on Human Trafficking, The United Cross-border Task Force, and The Canadian Justice Department. The room is hot, the wooden seats are hard, my freshly starched and pressed dress uniform itches, and I wish there had been time to talk to Holly before we were sequestered. The press is all over this! I am a murderer and a cheater, not the hero I am being made out to be. The worst part is, I know that Holly will discover the story of my betrayal written all over Luc's body, in the forensic evidence report from the FBI before we ever get a chance to speak. I try to tell myself that there had been no other way. While I was gone, I had to lock Holly away in a safe corner of my mind, because if I hadn't I could not have done what I did. I couldn't think about her at all. Many young girls, and maybe I would have died if I took her, and my love for her into consideration. And while this may be true, it still makes me tired, and sick just thinking about it.

Dov and I had been on this case for months when we hit a dead end. Luc Dufort came to town, and with Sal out of the picture, he was wheeling and dealing on Victor's behalf like he owned the place. Luc did not trust us and wouldn't let us get close to him. In-fact Luc trusted no one he hadn't known for years, or who hadn't served in the French Foreign Legion along side him in Iraq. Rumor had it that Luc would be going to Bangkok to make a deal with a resort in Thailand to supply young, Caucasian, girls to service the Japanese businessmen who were their main clientele. This was huge! One of us needed to go with him. Dov and I decided that the easiest, fastest way for one of us to get close to Luc, was for me to get into his pants, no matter how distasteful we both found the idea to be. I knew he thought I was hot. So, one night Dov and I had a knock down, drag out fight in the recording studio behind Club Venus, in front of him. He intervened, playing my knight in shining armor, as I later called him much to his amusement and pleasure. I became his girlfriend and went home with him from then on. Thank God I had never stopped taking birth control, even after being with Holly for almost a year! Luc was a man who was all about power and control. He loved to flaunt our new relationship and throw it in Dov's face whenever possible. This was good, because it gave me a chance to slip information to Dov on a regular basis. He also liked having sex with me as often as possible, like a dog marking his territory. I can't say I enjoyed it, it meant nothing to me, I was just going through the motions. The only saving grace was, once I had resigned myself to having sex with him, I discovered he was a skillful, and somewhat considerate lover. The best part was, he became talkative and sleepy afterward, giving me more useful information than we had been able to glean in the entire months prior. He would tell me stories of his exploits, in hopes of impressing me, and then drift off into a deep sleep, sometimes in mid-sentence. I used that knowledge to wear him out before I killed him. I shot him through a pillow, not only to muffle the sound of the gun, but because I couldn't look at his face and pull the trigger. I don't know how or if he made me, but I knew as soon as we boarded the ship, the game was up. He was only using me for his pleasure until we reached a suitable destination where he could make me disappear. I also knew, he didn't think I suspected a thing. He didn't know that I also speak Italian fluently, and had picked up quite a bit of Russian over the past year.

Going to Bangkok and Tokyo, Sal had put me in a short, black, human hair wig, and bought me a new wardrobe the minute we landed. He wanted to impress the client, and so we went on a ten thousand dollar shopping spree to give us both a complete makeover. Everything seemed to go well, until we arrived back in San Francisco. Luc met with one of our Japanese contacts in the back garden of a bar, and we were on our way out when my heart stopped and my world fell apart. Holly. I had no idea what she was doing there, I just knew I needed to touch her! I "forgot" my credit card at the bar as I paid for our drinks, and had to go back for it as Luc retrieved the car. She was entering the restroom as I came back inside. I followed, and kissed her for one eternal heart stopping, knee buckling, life affirming moment that set off the whole nine yards of fireworks in my head, and made me realize that I needed to get back to my own life because she was what I lived for.

The next day, Luc made a deal with his client to personally escort a group of fifteen young women to an oilrig anchored off the coast of Fiji. They negotiated in Spanish, another language he didn't know I speak fluently. He laughed as the client called them shark bait, and arranged for a "special treat" to keep the Captain happy and quiet. We were supposed to be meeting Dov back at the Venus Recording Studio in Toronto in two days, so I was surprised when Luc asked me to come along. I knew that I could not allow these girls to be broken and slaughtered as planned! I tried to alert my contact at the FBI in San Francisco, to raid the ship while it was still in port, but my message went unanswered. I think this may be when Luc caught me. Something subtle shifted in the way he looked at me. And then I overheard him making plans for my demise with the Italian First Mate. It took almost twenty-four hours after I killed him, shot the Captain, and hit the ship's panic button, for the US Navy to arrive. I heard the fire fight from my sanctuary, and prayed that they were the good guys, not pirates.

After nine grueling days of testimony, they let us go with the promise to return if we are needed. I testified to it all in minute detail, with the exception of seeing and kissing Holly. I wondered how much of it had made the news. Chris picked us up in front of the courthouse, and whisked us off to the Penny to celebrate as the returning and conquering heroes! I excused myself after just one Jack and Coke. I was exhausted, drained completely both emotionally and physically. All I wanted was to be able to curl up into a little ball and sleep for the next month, but I knew what I had to do.

My legs started shaking as I got in the elevator. I trudged down the hall to find myself here. I am leaning heavily on the door jam, the wool jacket of my dress uniform trailing on the floor. I know I have a key, and I remember what she said as we embraced on the tarmac, but I takes every ounce of love and courage I have ever possessed to raise my hand and knock on her door. I know that she must hate me by now, but I still need to respect and honor her enough to tell her everything myself. Silence. The hall is so still I can hear myself breathing, and then footsteps and the unlocking of the deadbolt. Suddenly, my mouth is dry, I don't know what to say. I brace myself and will my feet not to run. I close my eyes and pray to whatever benevolent power there might be in the universe to give me strength. The door opens and I hope whatever I can do to convince her to still have me is enough.


	11. Chapter 11 - At my Door

**Gail finally comes home to Holly, and what's a girl to do? **

**Thanks for reading and for all of your comments!**

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I am putting the finishing touches on my article for The Journal of Modern Forensic Science when someone knocks on my door. It's late, just after ten, and I wonder who it could be. I put down my laptop, take off my glasses and rub my tired eyes. The knock sounds again as I get up to answer the door. I do hope everyone is ok! My neighbors wouldn't be knocking on my door this late unless there was some kind of an emergency, and Gail has a key. I haven't seen her since the night she came home, and I miss her with a constant ache. I open the door to find her there looking like what the proverbial cat dragged in. She is leaning heavily on the door jam, her dress uniform is rumpled, the jacket is lying on the floor at her feet, and her eyes are closed. Has she been crying? My heart breaks a little as I reach for her hands.

"Gail? "

She flinches slightly at my touch, but makes no further attempt to pull away.

"How can you be nice to me Holly? I know you must have read the FBI report by now, so I came here to do this in person. I owe you that much." She says in a bleak voice without opening her eyes.

"Come inside, you look exhausted!" I say softly.

"I can't." She says as silent tears begin to leak out from under her still closed lids.

"Yes, Gail, you can!" I insist, tugging gently on her hands.

"I know how you must hate me. And I've been here before, and I know how this ends…" She begins

"Gail, what are you talking about? I ask, becoming slightly annoyed.

"I slept with Luc, I betrayed you, and now you're going to leave me, aren't you?" She continues.

"No. And no, I don't hate you. I think we can work through this like adults, if that's what you want. I love you, and I have missed you terribly every day! Now come inside!" I pull her into my apartment and close the door behind us.

"You do? You have?" the vulnerability in her eyes as she opens them makes me melt a little. Ok, a whole lot.

"Of course I still love you! I know that you are hurting right now. But Gail, I refuse to be an instrument you use to punish yourself with! I know that you think I should be angry with you, but frankly, I'm simply relieved and grateful that you came home!" I spurt out at her. What is it about Gail that makes me word vomit? I can't bring myself to say I was afraid she was dead when she disappeared.

I lean forward to kiss her gently, but now that my lips are on hers, and we are alone for the first time in months, the fierceness of my body's reaction surprises even me. Sparks fly as our lips ignite a wildfire that rages through us both. I suck her tongue into my mouth, hungry for all of her. Her hands slide under my shirt and palm my breasts roughly, causing me to moan and bite her lower lip.

She pulls away for a moment. I can tell she is fighting for control. Her eyes are a wide, deep blue, filled with longing and sadness.

"Holly," She says breathlessly, "I don't know if I can do this…"

"Well…um…ok…" I run my hand nervously through my hair "don't you want me anymore?" I hear myself ask in a pathetic little voice.

"No.. no… Holly, it's…that's not it…" She says slowly

"Ok… well…you know what? Come here!" I grab her arm and practically drag her to the bedroom. She follows compliantly and sits on the bed. I want to get her to talk to me somewhere she can feel safe.

"Holly, do you think you will ever be able to forgive me?" Gail asks in a tiny voice

"Oh Babe, I am not the one who needs to forgive you, you are." I sigh

"Why do you say that when I cheated on you?" She closes her eyes in pain.

"Listen, I talked with Dov when we were looking for you, and I will never really know what you had to endure. Although I am not happy about the fact that you entered into a sexual relationship, you did it in order to obtain vital information. You did what you had to do in order to stop Dufort from selling young girls into slavery, or worse. I've been doing autopsies on them. If you hadn't done that, how many more would have died? And you did it, you saved them! I am so proud of you Gail, I think you were very brave." I say quietly

I can tell that this is not at all what she expected to hear. She looks at me with her head cocked to one side, brows knitted, taking it all in. She finally sighs wearily and continues.

"What is wrong with me? I had sex with him and then I killed him. I can't get that out of my head!" Gail says looking at her knees.

"You testified that you were afraid that he was going to kill you as soon as you reached international waters. Do you want to tell me about what happened?" I reach out and put a hand on Gail's arm.

"I don't know Holly, I overheard him talking to the Italian First Mate about shooting me and throwing my body overboard because I knew too much. I had been collecting evidence on the disappearance of his last girlfriend, Janelle Van Ness, off the coast of Mexico last spring. I'm pretty sure that's what happened to her. I can't bring her home, but at least I can tell her family what I know. He was an evil and violent man, and I would not have killed him if I thought there was any chance he would have let me live." Gail replies.

"Gail," I say looking at her intently, "You did everything you could to survive. Even the Justice Department ruled your killing him as a form of self-defense. I would be so angry right now if you had gone and gotten yourself killed!"

I get up gracelessly remove my clothes and slip naked between the sheets. I pat the bed next to me and she crawls in, still fully dressed. I open my arms to her; she plasters herself to me, hugging me in a vice-like grip, her body ridged as the tears begin to come. The first sob breaks with a ragged giant gulp of air. Sobs wrack her body, quietly at first, and then with whimpers and moans that grow in to the crescendo of a wail. It takes a while before her tears are spent, and she is asleep in my arms.

It is still dark when I wake up alone. I look up to check the time and see her silhouette standing against the dim light of the window.

"Hey Gail," I call softly to her

She turns in my direction, arms crossed over her chest. "Hey." She replies

"Come back to bed." I venture

She slides back under the covers. She is naked this time. Her skin feels like liquid gold, and the wildfire is back, quickly burning out of control. She rolls on top of me kissing me tenderly. My body responds immediately as her tongue enters my mouth. It splits me open with a savage force that I return in kind. I run my hands up her back and then down to cup the cheeks of her butt, spreading them wider, pulling her down to ride on my thigh. As she bears down, my fingertips brush against her wet heat. Her body rubs insistently on mine. There is hunger in our lips, and necessity in our touch. Our tongues battle franticly, fanning the wildfire into burning everything in its path. Gail tastes of lipstick, and longing so fierce I am completely undone. My hips rise against her, matching her ardent, unrelenting rhythm. She spreads her legs wider still, moaning into my mouth. She snakes her hand between us seeking entrance to the rampant inferno between my legs. I welcome her in, as I enter her with my thumb from behind. Our bodies dance and strain, slick with sweat and desire. I want her so much!

"Oh God, Holly," She whispers breathlessly in my ear, "you make me so fucking hot I can't slow down…"

"Good!" I pant, and lean in to suck the skin on the underside of her jaw

"I can't stop! I'm going to cum!" She groans with some effort

"Don't stop!" is all I can manage before I feel her body freeze and contract. As she screams out my name it pushes me over the edge with her. The wildfire rages, reducing me to smoke, and ash, and dust as I am engulfed by an orgasm so big, my eyes roll back in my head and I literally see white. And now it's my turn to sob as she holds me like I am the most precious thing on earth.

Sunlight filters through the window illuminating Gail's hair and skin, making her glow. I love watching her sleep. She is so beautiful, and I can't believe she's finally back! I don't want to get up and leave her here by herself, but hunger drives me into the kitchen. I am standing at the kitchen counter filling up the coffee maker thinking about pancakes, when I feel Gail's lips on the back of my neck. She moves so quietly in her bare feet, she always takes me by surprise.

"I don't know what I ever did to deserve you, but no one has every loved me like you do!" Gail whispers in my ear, slipping an arm around my waist. She sighs, "And I love you back, more than I can say."

She pulls me close and rests her cheek on my shoulder. I am amazed at this spontaneous display of pure affection! It warms me from within and makes me believe that somehow, we are going to be alright.


	12. Chapter 12 - For You

**Thanks for reading! All of your comments and reviews are greatly appreciated! BTW you can follow me on twitter **

** coyotegrrrl18**

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In the early light of morning she seems so peaceful, sleeping with the hint of a smile on her lips, her hair fanned out around her like a halo of golden light. It's been three weeks since she came home, and she has barely left my bed. She is frozen, and I don't know what to do. When she does get up there is more silence, an icy wasteland creating a gulf between us that becomes harder to breach with each passing day. Some days I come home to a silent apartment to find her sitting in a chair, arms wrapped around her knees, staring out the window over the same cold cup of coffee she was holding when I left for work. She tells me that she's fine, but there is no fire in her eyes. This morning is the first time I've seen her smile even in sleep. I need to be getting up, but I don't want to leave her here alone. My alarm sounds. She grumbles and rolls over. I get up to head for the shower, but her hand catches my wrist as my feet hit the floor.

"Don't go." She whispers.

I sigh and crawl back into bed. "Babe, you know I have to go to work." I murmur halfheartedly into the top of her head. Her arms wrap tightly around my waist, her face is buried in my chest.

"Don't leave me Holly!" She whispers, so softly I can barely hear her, and I'm sure she isn't just talking about now.

I hold her gently, stroking her softly and resting my lips on her forehead. She looks up at me with eyes that are the color of smoke.

"Gail," I sigh, "If we have any chance of getting through this, you are going to have to talk to me. I can't do this all by myself."

"I know. I'm sorry." She whispers. Her eyes are bottomless, and she looks away as the tears begin to fall.

I hold her closer. She hasn't cried since her first night back. I know I'm going to be late if I don't get up now. Shit.

"I don't want you to die." She whispers into my chest. "Its all my fault. But you, you can't..."

"Gail, would you like to tell me what you are talking about?" I ask quietly. Shit. I am going to be late, or maybe I should just call in a personal day.

"It starts with killing Luc," She begins "And then, I am shooting Nick. He looks so surprised as I put a bullet in his head. And then it's Chris. And Sam is standing there bleeding, with his guts hanging out, and I shoot Andy in the face, and Dov fires back but I kill him anyway, and then I am here, standing over our bed with a gun in my hand. And Jerry walks in and tells me that I killed him too…"

"Gail, how often do you have this dream?" I ask softly

"Every night. Every night I dream that I kill everyone. It always starts with Luc, and ends here with you and Jerry and me. But last night it was different." She smiles a sad, cold smile that scares me.

"Last night, I dreamt that I ate my gun before I killed you. And just before I killed the monster I've become, Claudia, the little girl from the ship, took my hand and thanked me for being brave. It's all my fault. It's funny, when I put the gun in my mouth, I just felt relieved." She says in a soft flat voice.

"Gail," I say carefully "do you want to hurt yourself, or is it just a nightmare?"

"I'm like a zombie, I will kill you, or worse if you don't kill me first. But I don't want to hurt you, or anyone else. But I killed them and it's all I can think about." She says in a shaky voice.

"You are not a monster! You know that, right?" I tell her.

She just shrugs. "Gail…" I look at the time. "Shit! Listen, I need to go make a call, but I will be right back!" I sit up and take my phone into the kitchen.

When I return, she is no longer in bed. I hear the shower running and I follow her into the bathroom. Her back is to me in the hot spray, but I can tell she's crying by the way her shoulders hunch and fall. I drop my nightshirt and step in with her. She turns and wraps me in a fierce embrace. Suddenly her mouth is on mine, rough and insistent. I am taken completely by surprise.

"Fuck me Holly! Fuck me now!" She demands in a low urgent voice in my ear.

"Wait… WHAT?" I gasp, completely off balance.

"Come on Holly, don't you want me?" She bites my neck hard, sucking at the skin. I know that's going to leave a mark.

"What are you doing Gail?" I ask, somewhat alarmed, and yet getting more and more turned on by the second as she squeezes my breasts together and takes both of my nipples in her mouth at once. She applies her teeth and my mind goes blank. "Uh, Gail… um what ARE you doing?"

She pushes me up against the shower wall, grinding hard against me. "Can't you see I need you? Come on Holly, please? She crashes her lips into mine and shoves her tongue into my mouth.

I grab her wrists and hold her wandering hands still, my mind still reeling, as I pull back slightly. I've never seen her like this. "Gail, can we slow down for just a second? I mean, where did this come from?"

"FUCK!" she breaks free from my grip and storms from the room without bothering to dry off or even take a towel with her.

"That went well." I mutter to myself, as I turn off the shower, wrap myself in a towel, throw my hair into a wrap and go to find her. She is wedged between the dresser and the wall on the floor of my bedroom, curled into a ball, sobbing into her arms. I sit as close to her as I can with my back leaning on the wall.

"Oh, Babe…" I whisper as my heart breaks a little. I reach out and try to stroke her hair, but she recoils at my touch. We just sit there for a while.

"Gail…" I try again "I don't know what it's like to have intentionally killed someone…"

"No, you don't! So why don't you take your pity somewhere else!" She snaps at me without looking up.

Now I'm annoyed. "Ok. You know what? I called into work to be here for you. But if you don't want that, well that's just fine Gail." I let my anger creep into my voice. "Tell you what. I'm going to go about my day, and if you want to talk, come and find me." I get up, brush the imaginary dirt off of my thighs and return to the shower.

The sun has crept across the sky as I have been steadily getting caught up on paperwork in my office when I hear the front door slam. I get up and walk out into my empty apartment wondering how long it will be this time until I hear from Gail again.

The clock on my bureau says one thirty six, I hear the noise again, followed by muffled cursing, moments later Gail crawls into bed. I expect her to be drunk, but I don't smell any sign of alcohol on her. She scoots carefully closer and I feel her hand snake tentatively across my middle. I don't know what I'm feeling, a mixture of pleasant surprise that she came back tonight, relief that she hasn't gone out and gotten stupid, sloppy drunk, and annoyed at this little dance we seem to always do when things get rough. I sigh and give in to her presence, as my arms embrace her and I kiss her on the forehead.

"Hi." I whisper

"Hi." She replies as she pulls me in tighter.

"Gail, I…"

"Holly, listen!" She interrupts, "I am so sorry for all of the crap I put you through. I know that you deserve better!"

I'm not sure where this is going, so I hold on and wait apprehensively.

"Ok…" I say slowly.

"When I left here earlier, I went back to my place. Dov was home. We played Mortal Combat and talked about how much killing someone fucks you up. So I called the department shrink and made an appointment for tomorrow because I really need to get back to work. And I know that these past few months have been hard on you, and know I don't make it easy…"

I can't quite stop the chuckle in my throat that turns into a snort and a cough as she says this.

She smacks me lightly on the shoulder. "Come on Holly, I'm trying to tell you something!"

"Ok, I'm listening." I reply, turning to kiss her briefly on the lips.

"So anyway, I've been walking and thinking about things. I want to be able to be there for you. You are so good to me, and I want to be good to you too. I want you to be proud of me. I want to get back to building a life with you. Maybe after I have been cleared by the department to go back onto active duty, can we start looking for our own place again?" Her voice breaks a little as she says this.

Building a life with me. Did she just say that? Wow! I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. I kiss her again, slowly this time. "I would like that." I say as we pull apart. "And Gail, I am proud of you."


	13. Chapter 13 - After the Storm

**Thank you for all of your feedback and comments on this story! I love to hear that you are still reading and enjoying!**

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Snow is falling in clumps as we walk to the hardware store, arms linked, hands fisted inside of mittens in our pockets in a vein attempt to ward off the cold. Gail's eyes sparkle with childish glee in the slit between her fur aviator's hat and the thick wool scarf wrapped around her nose. She is out again on paid leave after a shoot out that resulted in one of the biggest drug busts of the year. When she returned to work just over a month ago, Steve insisted on taking her under his wing, at least temporarily. Guns and Gangs are proud of her and of themselves. Although she won't admit it, I can tell she is clearly relieved that the bullet from her gun only wounded the man she shot. The weather and the holidays are wreaking havoc on her ability to make the appointments that will get her re-instated for active duty, but for right now, she is taking the extra time off as a gift. Steve is on paid leave too, making our time alone at a premium. I never realized, until now, just how much mayhem the Peck siblings could create if left to their own devices. Just yesterday, Traci jokingly complained that if the two of them had not left Leo in a state of exhaustion, which made him go to bed without complaining once about his bedtime, she might have to limit their time with him. They had taken him to play laser tag in the snow after they discovered you have to be at least sixteen to play paint ball. Afterward they took him to the arcade, and then appeared in the door of my lab laughing and fighting like naughty children, making Leo giggle at their antics. Steve insisted on driving my car to pick up Traci, his own car was with her at the precinct, and then taking us all out for Chinese in-spite of the blizzard warning. He gave Leo the front seat with a wink in Gail's direction as we climbed into the back. Gail smacked him on the back of his head for looking to see what we were doing by checking on us in the rear view mirror when we stopped at a red light.

The snowstorm blowing off the lake began again in earnest last night. Deep drifts muffled the usual urban noise, and blanketed the city in a thick white shroud that the plows were having difficulty keeping pace with. People were advised to keep off of the streets and stay indoors as much as possible. Gail had pulled me from the sanctuary of my warm, cozy bed this morning with a mug of coffee and a rare impish grin that continued in her eyes. I protested, in a halfhearted fashion, but her enthusiasm was not to be denied. Now, here we were trudging through knee-deep drifts, with Gail on a mission. Soon, we stepped onto a freshly cleared and sanded sidewalk and through the front door of Ferguson's Hardware and General Store.

"What are we doing here? " I ask as she parks me on a bench at the front of the store by a potbellied woodstove and a canning display. The stove gleams black, and radiates heat that makes me want to melt into a happy, sleepy puddle.

"You'll see!" I could hear her smile even before she unwraps her scarf. "Now stay there!" She commands.

"Yes officer!" I reply with a smirk

"Shut up!" She laughs, and disappears down one of the dimly lit aisles that is jam-packed with everything from fishing rods, to chicken wire, to plumbing supplies.

She returns shortly, carrying an old fashioned Radio Flyer sled under one arm and a large paper bag in the other hand. She hands me the latter with a grin as she strides for the door.

"Don't even think about opening that yet! And hold it level." she quips

I am surprised at the amount of warmth coming through the paper along with a tantalizing aroma of roasted nuts, caramelized sugar and popcorn that make my mouth water.

"Coming?" She demands from the doorway

* * *

Her new sled perches on the edge of the hill. She sits down on the back, motioning for me to join her. I carefully hand her the bag and sit down in front, cozying my back into her chest. I feel her twist and hear the bag crinkle open.

"Careful. Take off your mittens." She hands me a small paper cup with steam rising from the hole in the cover. I take a tentative sip to discover hot chocolate laced with cinnamon schnapps that seems to warm me all the way down to my toes. The mystery bag lands between my legs, and Gail pulls me closer as she reaches around to grab a generous handful of warm kettle corn with maple-roasted cashews mixed in.

"Steve and I used to do this when we were kids." She begins, "If we had a snow day off from school, we would grab our sleds and head for this hill."

The kettle corn is warm and delicious. "I thought you said you didn't do sports." I tease.

Gail laughs, "Ya' know Holly, if eating Mr. Ferguson's special Kettle Corn and drinking cinnamon schnapps is a sport, then Steve and I should be on the Olympic Team!"

She pulls me closer and rests her chin on my shoulder. I turn to catch her lips in mine. She tastes like cinnamon and chocolate and something sweet that is uniquely Gail. She works a bare hand under my jacket and onto my skin, her fingertips finding their way under the waistband of my pants as she deepens the kiss. I sigh and nearly spill my coco. She laughs softly pressing the cold, bright red velvet of her cheek to mine.

"Careful." She whispers into my ear. Her breath is warm and gives me goosebumps.

"Careful yourself." I smile and run my fingertips along the inseam of her thighs. I feel her breath hitch as I do.

"Keep it up and you might just send us both prematurely over the edge before we get to finish our snack." I can hear the smirk in her voice as she says this.

The hill is long and steep before us. Our breath comes out in white puffs as we laugh. We sit drinking our coco and eating kettlecorn in silence for a while, looking out over the tops of trees and at the city below. When we are done Gail takes our empty cups, folds them into the bag and stuffs them into her jacket.

"Are you ready?" She asks, a note of reckless glee in her voice.

I take a deep breath, "As I will ever be." I smile

She picks up the rope to help her steer and pushes off. The world flies by in a breathless rush of adrenaline, falling snow, and laughter as Gail maneuvers skillfully around rocks and trees. And then it's over much too fast, as we skid to a halt by a playground I never knew existed. She gets up, pulls me to my feet and into her arms. There is snow clinging to her hat and to her eyelashes.

"Thank you!" She says softly as she leans in to kiss me.

"For what?" I ask as we pull apart.

"For everything." She smiles shyly "I never thought I could be this happy."

"Then thank you too!" I reply

"There is one more thing." She says as she leads me through the park and out to a parking lot where I see her car.

"You've been planning this for a while, haven't you." I say

"Uh huh." She answers smugly.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, we are sitting in a neighborhood not too far from Gail's apartment. She rummages for a moment in the glovebox of her car and pulls out a set of keys. As she dangles them in the air between us, I feel myself flush and my heart begin to pound against my ribs as the implication hits me.

"Come with me!" She gets out of the car.

I follow her to the house, down five shallow steps onto a slate patio. The house is low and modern, built in the fifties or sixties. She opens the massive wood door and steps into a slate tiled entrance. It leads into a large, open, living space with high ceilings, built-in bookshelves, and a huge stone fireplace that dominates the house. Floor to ceiling sliding glass doors open out onto a deck with a hot tub and a built in stone oven and grill. The place is all dark wood, and glass, slate, and brass, with huge windows that let in lots of light. There is a large eat-in kitchen, a formal dining room, a small den, and four bedrooms up three stairs and down a hall. She stands in the middle of the living room fidgeting nervously with the keys as I explore.

"Well…?" She inquires as I return.

"Wow, this is amazing!" I begin

"Good. It made me think of you when I saw it." She says shyly.

"I do love it." I reply.

"But?" She asks in a small voice.

"I don't know Gail, it's a big step." I say softly.

"I'm sorry." She looks at the floor "Maybe this was a dumb idea. Listen, we can just forget it…"

"I didn't say no." I say firmly, stepping in to pull her to me by her belt loops. "I love the idea of living here with you! Four bedrooms, huh?"

"Uh huh." She breathes out and leans her forehead against mine. "You know… just incase…"

I smile and stroke her cheek with my thumb, "Yeah, yeah I do."

The air is thick and brittle between us. I can feel every breath, every heartbeat. We have never talked about having kids, or even pets, or the possibility of owning a home together, and we have only looked at apartments in the past. I know she asked me to be her plus one forever, but this is huge! I can feel the depth and weight of her eyes as she waits for me to speak.

"You know, we don't have to do this now… I just thought with the raise I got for all that undercover work.. But I get it if you don't…" Her voice is soft and pitched higher than it should be. She takes a deep jagged breath and I realize she is trying not to cry. She is looking at the floor again. "Anyway, you don't have to decide right now, I mean I have three days to say yes or no…"

"Gail," I turn her face to mine. "I said I love the idea of living here with you. There wasn't a but or a no in that sentence." And I kiss her hard because that's what she needs, because that's what we do to make each other stop with stupid questions and insecurities. "You just took me by surprise. Let's do this!" I whisper holding on to her arms, her face just inches from my own.

She leans in to kiss me again and I taste the salt of her tears. "I never thought I could have this." She says softly.

"Have what?" I ask in an equally hushed tone.

"You know. This." She gestures briefly with her hand.

"What." I say again with a smile creeping on to my face, because I want to hear her say it.

"You know," She's beginning to sound frustrated in a way I find adorable. "This. You know, the whole ball of wax. A home of my own with, with, well you know, someone… Come on Holly! Are you really going to make me say this?" She sees my smile and starts to laugh.

"Uh huh." I feel my smile getting impossibly bigger.

"Jesus, Holly, you are such a dork!" She is smiling back at me.

I break my resolve. "Yes, but I am your dork." I watch her eyes become round as I say this.

"Mine." She repeats softly.

"Yes," I say firmly "All yours."

She grabs me so fiercely it knocks the breath from my chest.

"But you knew that." I murmur as she clings to me like she's never letting go.


	14. Chapter 14 - Moving Day

**SMUTT WARNING - The movers have come and gone. Holly and Gail spend their first night together in their new home. If you don't want to read a graphic description about what happens when Gail gets home. please stop now!**

**Otherwise, thanks for reading! Your comments, reviews and feedback are greatly appreciated!**

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"Honey, I'm home!" Gail croons as she kicks her boots off and onto the rubber mat by the door.

I am standing in a sea of boxes and furniture when I hear the front door open. Gail is standing in the doorway carrying a bag of take out from the Thai place we discovered at the end of our new street, and wearing a ridiculously large grin.

"You are such a sap!" I tease, kissing her briefly I take the bag from her and head for the kitchen with our takeout.

"Aren't you supposed to greet me at the door with a martini or some other form of alcohol?" she muses.

"Oh really? Is that how we're gonna do this?" I smirk

"Uh huh." She follows close behind me.

"You're assuming I know where our alcohol has gone in this mess the movers left us. Much less my barware." I'm not sure where my dishes are and I don't know if Gail actually owns any.

"You own barware?" She asks, her eyes lighting up at the thought.

"Yup! I even own a refrigerated kegging system that I made out of an old dorm fridge and some lab equipment. I used to have it in my room when I was in med school." I say rather smugly. I was going to surprise her with it, and a fully set up and stocked bar, but God only knows where any of it is now.

"Wow! You are full of surprises. I knew buying this house with you was the right thing to do!" She teases happily.

I place the bag on the cutting board on island in the center of the kitchen next to the sink. She stumbles and nearly trips as I spin around to face her. I catch her in my arms to keep her from falling, and speaking of being full of surprises, suddenly her lips are on mine, hot and wanting. I open to her, breathing her in as she breathes out into my mouth with a sigh. My skin is humming, She tastes sweet and slightly like the beer I know she had while waiting for our order at the bar. She pins me up against the counter and then lifts me up to sit on it with her standing between my thighs. I make my lips soft and full as I suck on her mouth. Feeling her knees give way, I smile knowingly. She is so beautiful, and I am still amazed at how much she always gets to me. My hands clench and unclench reflexively on the collar of her shirt as she runs her hands beneath my sweater, pushing me back, knocking our forgotten take out into the sink. Her skin is flushed, her eyes are bright, I pull her to me and gasp, as her hard nipples rub against my stomach through her shirt, sending a shock of electricity directly between my legs. I don't know how she does it, but God, she turns me on like nobody ever has before. Maybe it's love, because my craving for her body has only gotten worse over time, and I can tell she feels the same about me. She kisses me harder, leaving my lips to nip at the tender skin below my ear. I hear myself moan softly as she breathes into my ear. I slide from the countertop. Our body's fit together like one. It's kind of embarrassing, but I've been thinking about doing just this all day. Maybe that's part of the reason I can't find anything, I wanted the movers to deposit my things and go before Gail got home.

"Mmmm, Gail… What are you doing to me?" I sigh into her mouth. Smooth Holly, really smooth. I am secretly rather thrilled that she has found the confidence to become this aggressive.

"Jeeze Holly," She laughs softly, "I mean, haven't you figured it out by now? And you call yourself a lesbian." She slides her hand up to palm one of my breasts gently in a way that erases any smart answer I might have given, before it has even had a chance to enter my head.

She tugs on my shirt and silently leads me from the kitchen, up the stairs and into our new bedroom. Her lips crash hungrily into mine again, and I am on fire. Thank goodness I was able to find the sheets and make the bed before she came home, is all I can think before she guides me around boxes and pushes me onto the bed. Our bed. She takes a step back and begins to unbutton her shirt, her eyes never leaving mine as I wriggle out of my jeans and send my sweater flying across the room. I love watching Gail's reaction when she sees I am wearing my sexiest purple lace bra and panties. The flush that rises from her chest, her pupils dilate with desire, say everything I need. I arch an eyebrow and grin smugly. She licks her lips and swallows hard, her breath hitches and I watch the color rise to the tips of her ears. I unclasp my bra and take it off slowly. Her mouth has fallen slightly open and speechless, in a way I find amusing, adorable, and sexy all at once. She quickly undoes her pants and lets the rest of her clothing fall in a crumpled heap on the floor. I sit up to greet her, drawing her in as she crawls on top of me. She lowers her head and runs her tongue up my sternum and across my clavicle, pushing me back into the pillows as she goes. There is fire in her eyes that makes my heart beat erratically. And then her mouth is on mine again, kissing me hard this time with probing tongue and urgent lips. I can no longer control the growing electric pressure in my chest as she runs the palm of her hand over the thin fabric of my panties. I gasp and cry out, my hips rising with a mind of their own to meet her. My fingers dig into her back. She catches my lower lip between her teeth, applying just enough pressure with her hand to make me crazy and leave me wanting more. I try to reach down and touch her too, knowing just how worked up she is rapidly becoming, but she grabs my hands and forces them up over my head, fingers entwined. Her thigh settles between my legs thrusting insistently into my clit. I am beyond words, lost in her rhythm, lost in her clear blue eyes. The depth of emotion I see there is almost enough to shatter my world alone, and then she stops.

"Fuck. Gail." I pant, "Don't stop! Please…"

She is breathing hard now too. She smiles an evil, little, do I ever have a plan for you, kind of smile. Her eyes glitter, wild with lust and glee that never fails to turn me inside out.

"Oh shit Gail! Please…" I hear myself begin to beg. "Please, fuck me!"

She kisses me again looking deep into my eyes. The low, breathless chuckle that begins in the back of her throat is possibly one of the sexiest sounds I have ever heard as she makes her way down the underside of my jaw with gentle teeth and tongue and lips. It makes my hips jolt and buck, seeking more contact where I need it. I strain against her fingers needing to hold on to her.

"Nuh uh uh, not so fast." She admonishes. "Stay right there!" she gives my hands a squeeze and lets go.

She continues her journey down my body, stopping to pay attention to my left breast. I arch into her mouth as she takes my erect nipple in her teeth and sucks hard.

"Oh, oh fuck, oh yes!" I hear myself moan, profanities dropping from my lips like ripe fruit. They spur her on, growing louder as her tongue flickers against my aching flesh. I am so turned on, I feel my breast spurt and leak as she sucks harder, with a corresponding gush of wetness between my legs and a growing pressure in my groin.

"Oh Holly, you taste so fucking good!" she moans taking my other nipple between her lips. Her hands splay across the back of my neck and tease the sensitive skin of my other breast. I reach down and grip her shoulders as she continues to inch down my body.

"Gail," I gasp

She looks up at me with smoldering indigo eyes.

"I thought I told you to stay right there." She whispers in a husky voice.

"I just want to feel your body against me." I whimper

"Hmmm…" She hums and turns around knees straddling my chest, hands stroking my thighs, continuing to explore my torso with lips and tongue. My breath hitches sharply at the sight if her exposed, wet and open before me. Before I have time to react further, my panties are removed with one swift tug and she leans in. Hands splay me open, my legs spreading wider, knees hitting the mattress as she penetrates me with her tongue. My back arches and my eyes fall shut. I am helpless against the exquisite sensation of her body pressed to mine and her tongue riding my clit like a wild horse. My breath comes in wordless gasps that grow louder as my body strains for release. I hear myself moan loudly as her fingers caress my sensitive entrance, tease but don't go inside. My legs shake, the muscles in my stomach burn, sweat trickles between my breasts and my arms grasp her body pulling her closer still. Her musky scent is intoxicating. I know what I need. Unable to control myself any more, I lean forward and burry my face in her center. She is so ready as I pull her salty, sweet clit into my mouth. Oh my God! She tastes like desire its self! She cries out, whimpers, and tries to pull away without ever removing her mouth from my burning core. I need her and I need to feel her cum. So I hold on tighter and enter her deeply with three fingers, my tongue beating out a rhythm of its own against her swollen clit. She begins to shake and gush as she enters me with her fingers too. I feel her begin to cum, as I begin to cum, as we begin to cum. And I hold on with all my might as we fall and fall and fall, the world crumbling down around us, hot tears falling, her voice calling out my name, blended with my voice calling hers drowning out everything but her, and us and this moment suspended in time.

Shaking and weak Gail pulls herself up to kiss me.

"I love you. I love you so much!" She whispers before collapsing on my chest.

"I love you too!" I mumble barely able to keep my eyes open. They slide shut again as I pull her closer.

She scoots on top of me, her leg brushing up against a still unbelievably sensitive area sending a mini-orgasm ripping through me unexpectedly. I cry out and my eyes fly open as my whole body shakes.

"Whoa Holly! Was that?"

"Um, yeah, it kinda was…" I reply sheepishly

"Wow!" She looks impressed. "So what kind of stud am I?"

We both start to laugh softly, safe in each other's arms.

It's after midnight when I wake up alone in a strange room. It takes me a moment to remember where I am with a smile. Our house. Our room. I get up when she doesn't return to bed shortly. As I approach the end of the hall I see a glow of light coming from the kitchen and hear the microwave chime. I step into the room and Gail hands me a plastic fork with a smile while cracking open a now warm container of Pad Thai.

"Hey, thanks!" I smile back at her.

"I woke up because I was starving!" Gail begins "And I realized we never ate our dinner!"

"And who's fault was that?" I wrap my arms around her waist and kiss her lightly on the cheek.

"I donno." She tries to look innocent. She pops a fresh spring roll into her mouth and smirks, chewing.

"Uh huh." I smile wider.

"I'm sorry." She says shyly, "This isn't the way I thought our first meal alone together in our new house was going to be."

"That's ok Gail," I scoop up the Pad Thai, "You don't hear me complaining, do you?" and begin to head back to the bedroom.

"Hey!" She protests, "Hey, where do you think you're going with that?"

"Back to bed, of course." I turn to look at her. "Coming?" I know my smile is less than innocent. "I thought you said you were hungry…"

It takes her less than two seconds to let my words sink in before her eyes become round, she grabs her plastic fork, and catches up.

"Good thing we both have the next few days off!" She smiles, her eyes sparkle as she bumps me with her hip.


	15. Chapter 15 - You spin me right round

** Thanks for continuing to read! Sorry about the wait for this chapter. As always I love hearing from you! Please Comment!**

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Today has been nothing but a shit storm. It began with spilling coffee all over myself in the car on my way to work, and went down hill from there. After hanging out with Steve in Guns and Gangs for four months, I have been back in uniform for just over two weeks. A choice I made myself so I could quietly work on my ETF application without him catching me at it or breathing down my neck. The last thing I need is him ratting me out to our parents before I can get it in.

Parade was uneventful, although I found myself riding with Nick. It's funny, I know we're really done because we just don't have anything to say to each other any more. Numbers were down, so we were on traffic patrol. Everything was fairly routine until a car full of kids buzzed us, going about ninety. Nick floored the gas as I hit the lights, and we were off!

"Fifteen-oh-nine in pursuit of a dark green Chevy Impala license number Charlie, Zebra, Foxtrot, Niner, Zero, Eight going east on Adelaide, heading for the Don Valley Parkway. There appear to be four suspects in the car." I radioed in.

"Fifteen-oh-nine, Roger that." Came the voice from dispatch. "All available units."

"Well this is fun!" Nick began

"What." I shot him an icy look.

"You know, this. Us. Here riding together…." He continued in a friendly voice.

I was just turning to say something to him when the impact hit the rear of our car. It came so fast out of nowhere, neither one of us had a chance to react as we spun and tumbled, airbags deploying, paperwork, broken safety glass, and our lunch flying everywhere. Nick grabbed my arm and held on as we rolled three times in seemingly slow motion and came to rest miraculously upright just inches from the corner of a brick building. I don't know why, but I couldn't stop staring at that brick wall, every chip, every crack, imprinted on my mind forever as we rocked to a halt.

Nick's hand squeezed my arm tighter. "Gail? Gail, are you ok?" His voice seemed to be coming from a million miles away.

"Fuck!" I breathed out as I tried to turn and look at him. Sharp pain shot through my right shoulder. "Fuck!" I grunted louder, and heard him laughing softly. There were sirens in the distance now, getting closer by the second.

"Good! I'm glad to know you're still here!" He said. His voice was strange. "What the hell was that?"

I turned to look at him then. He had blood on his face and his nose appeared to be broken.

"Christ, Nick! Are you ok?" I reached out to touch him gently on the cheek, his eyes closed as my fingertips made contact. He took a deep shaky breath. He leaned his head back, eyes still closed, and took another deep breath.

"Ok, ok, let me see if I can't get us out of here." He opened his eyes and reached down to pull a knife out of his boot, which he used to swiftly slice through our seatbelts and the airbags. The sirens were getting closer and stopping. There was a banging on the roof of the car as Sam poked his head through the window. I breathed a sigh of relief. He tried to open Nick's door, but it was stuck shut.

"Hey!" He said cracking his gum with a smirk, "I see you guys took quite a tumble. Jeeze, Collins, your face is a mess. Are you ok? Don't worry, we'll get you outta here. Just sit tight."

"What happened?" I asked

"Well Peck, it seems like some idiot delivery driver was pulling out of that alley, and clipped the back of your squad. Looks like he was texting his girlfriend at the time." Sam said making a sour face.

"Ok. I think I can get out this window…" Nick said as he started pulling himself up.

"Whoa there cowboy! The two of you need to stay right here until the hose monkeys can cut this tin can open and get you to the hospital to be checked out. Peck? How are you holding up?" A look of concern flashed briefly across Sam's face before it was replaced by his calm smile.

"I think I broke my shoulder. I can't feel my fingers." I couldn't help but whine a little. Now that the adrenaline was wearing off it was beginning to hurt.

"Ok. I'll see what I can do to hurry these guys along." Sam winked at me, and walked away.

* * *

_"Summertime… And the livin' is easy… Fish are jumpin' … And the cotton is high…"_

I can hear Nick laughing from across the hall.

_"Oh your Daddy's rich… And your Momma's good lookin'…"_

"Wow Gail, it's been a long time since I've heard you sing that." He says in an amused tone.

"Shut it Nick!" And I keep singing, because even though it hurts to breathe, it feels good, and weird too. _"So hush little baby, now, don't you cry…"_

I decide like listening to my voice echoing in the mostly empty hallway.

_"One of these mornings…"_

"Aw, come on Gail!" He says. "You know I still care about you."

"What the fuck Nick? Really? Do we have to go there? Again?" I try to snipe, but it's hard, with all of the warm, fuzzy, floating sensations whatever they just gave me are doing to my head. I got out of x-ray about half an hour ago, and we are both lying on gurneys on opposite sides of the hall in the basement of St. Michaels, waiting for radiology to take us to have both the full MRI and CT scan work ups done. Footsteps echo in the hall. I see a young man in a white coat and blue bowtie heading our way. I beckon him with my good hand.

"Garçon, garçon, pouvez-vous nous apporter notre vin sommes venus nous attendent pour notre table?" I inquire.

Nick starts to giggle. The young man approaches me cautiously. I try again.

"Cameriere, è in grado di indicarci il nostro vino ero stiamo aspettando il nostro tavolo?"

The man sighs and says, "Ok, lady. Whatever." He unlocks the wheels on my bed and pushes me across the hall so that I am toe to toe with Nick. He checks my I.V., writes on the clipboard at my feet and continues on his way. Nick is holding an icepack to his head and beginning to look more and more like a raccoon.

"Hey!" Nick calls after him. I hear the footsteps stop, and return. "Hey!" Nick repeats, "What's going on?"

"Well, officer," the annoying little pencil-pusher replies, "I'm afraid you are going to have to wait for the attending physician to answer any of your questions. The nurse will be by shortly with a lovely Barium cocktail for you both. Now if you will excuse me…" And turns to leave.

"Hey, wait a second!" Nick calls after him, but he's gone. "Oh, come on!" Nick groans with frustration.

I try to turn and look after him, but a sharp pain pierces my right shoulder, causing me to yelp and almost pass out.

"Gail! Are you ok?" Nick's eyes are big and round.

"Sure Nick, never better." I glare at him.

"Hey, listen, I just wanted to say that I think Holly is really good for you. And I'm glad that you're happy." Nick is starting to get all serious and mushy at me. It's making me nervous, and somewhat angry after the way he treated us when he first discovered we were together.

"What?!" I feel my eyes narrow, as I try to shake my head. He is in sincere, puppy-dog mode. God, I hate it when he does this. It gets to me every time.

"No, really Gail. I mean, I know I was a real jerk to you both…" He tries to continue.

"Nice of you to finally admit to being a complete ass." I can hear the chill in my voice, and I know what my face must be saying by the way he is looking at me.

He is about to say something else when I hear the unmistakable sound of Holly's clogs running down the cement corridor. She pops into view, grasping the rail on my bed with white knuckles, and wearing the same panicked, deer in the headlights, expression I saw on the first day I kissed her. It makes my heart contract a little.

"Gail!" She breathes out, eyes franticly searching my face.

"Helloooo!" I croon at her.

"Gail, I heard what happened!" She reaches out a trembling hand that stops inches from my face. I catch it in my good hand and bring it to rest on my cheek. Leaning in to it, I close my eyes against its cool comfort. I feel Holly sigh.

"Nick here was just apologizing for being a complete asshole to us both." I say without opening my eyes.

I feel her body jerk as she abruptly turns to look at him.

"Uh, hi Holly!" I can hear the sickening sheepish grin in his voice even before I open my eyes to see it.

"What the…" She exclaims, sounding satisfyingly annoyed.

"Look," He says, "I know that I will never be your favorite person, but I want you to know I'm sorry for the way I treated you. I was a real jerk!"

"Okay…" Holly says warily, fidgeting nervously with her glasses.

"Anyway," He continues, "I can see how much she loves you, any one can really. And I'm glad. I wasn't. But I am. You know, cuz you make her happy in ways I never could…"

"Quick, let me call Oprah…" I interrupt.

Holly gives my hand a squeeze and lets go.

"Thank you Nick." She says sounding way too serious. "Maybe we should talk, but now isn't the time."

She walks to the end of my bed and picks up my chart. She is studying it intently when a small dark skinned woman in a white coat materializes next to my bed.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Ruhi Patel." She introduces herself, "I hear you had quite a wild ride today. You must be Officer Gail Peck," she shakes my good hand. "And you must be Officer Nicholas Collins." She greets Nick.

"Uh, call me Nick." He says.

"Ok Nick, then." She smiles "And you are?" she turns to Holly

"Dr. Holly Stewart, Gail's partner." I hear her say.

Not girlfriend. Partner. I like that. It fits.

"So Gail," Dr. Patel asks "May I speak with Dr. Stewart about your case?"

"Sure," I say, "Why not. And you can talk in front of Nick here too. He's going to find out sooner or later."

"Ok then," Dr. Patel turns to Holly, "Well Dr. Stewart, we will be taking Gail into radiology now for a full MRI and CT with contrast. As you can see, her right clavicle is broken in two places, and her rotator cuff is torn. We want to insure there is no internal bleeding or nuro damage before we take her into surgery to repair it." I hear her explain.

"Excuse me! Surgery? What?" I exclaim.

"Yes Officer Peck, I'm afraid we will have to wire your clavicle back together and fix your rotator cuff if you wish to regain full use of your arm." She says to me. "Don't worry, we have an award winning sports medicine and orthopedic surgery team. It is a fairly routine and simple operation. Normally, we would operate directly and then send you home to recover, but given the way your injury was acquired, we would like to keep you over night for observation and operate in the morning. "

I am watching Holly's face go from concerned to completely opaque in a matter of seconds.

"Uh, sure…" I say, "Holly? What do you think?"

"Dr. Patel, you will give me the professional courtesy of informing me of the results from Gail's tests immediately, won't you." Holly is all business. It's almost like she's addressing one of her interns.

"Absolutely" comes the response.

"Ok, let's do this!" I say.

"Very good!" Dr. Patel replies and starts to unlock the wheels on my gurney.

"Could you give us a minute?" Holly asks.

Dr. Patel steps away from my bed as Holly comes over to my side and leans in. I try to reach up to touch her cheek but it hurts, so I end up grasping the front of her shirt instead.

"Hi." I say as I pull her closer.

"Hi." She replies, and I see her eyes start to fill with tears she refuses to shed.

I try to reach her lips with mine, but it hurts too much. "I'm ok, really I am." I whisper.

She swallows a whimper, blinks, and whispers back, "I know."

"I love you." I say.

"I love you too!" She kisses me briefly on the lips stands up abruptly, and walks quickly down the hall. As the doctor wheels me away, I watch Holly disappear into the lady's room.

_ "So hush little baby, now, don't you cry…"_


	16. Chapter 16 - Like a Record Baby

Nick is still in the hallway when I emerge from the ladies room where I have been pacing and hyperventilating for at least half an hour, trying to get myself together. He is not alone, and I am somewhat embarrassed by the way I ran from Gail earlier. As I come closer a cheer goes up from the knot of gathered officers, and I notice they are intently watching something on Chris's phone.

"Whoa Dude!" Dove exclaims as he and Nick high-five.

"So I guess you guys are buyin' tonight, or whenever we get outta here…" I hear Nick say.

"Definitely!" Chris exclaims "Gail is gonna be so stoked when she sees this!"

"Sees what?" Steve asks as he joins them.

"Check it out!" Dov grabs Steve by the arm and brings him into their circle.

They all lean in closer, and watch it again with rapt delight.

"Oof!" Steve breathes out puckering his lips and wincing, "Damn! Nice landing!" He leans over to high-five Nick too.

As I get closer I see Oliver not so subtly elbow Chris in the ribs. They all look up at me, and Chris's phone disappears into his pocket. I swear they look like naughty children who have been caught sneaking cookies before supper.

"Hey guys," I say carefully, edging closer, "What are you watching?"

"Uhummm…. the Olympics?" Chris offers.

I know my face must be saying I know BS when I hear it.

"Chris!" Dov hisses at him, "That's not on for another two weeks!"

"Oh." Chris looks deflated "Ah, well…umm.."

Oh really. I give him a look of death ala Gail, and he knows the game is up. "Chris?" I ask arching my eyebrows at him.

"Ok." He concedes, "So, the uh, guys from the traffic copter caught the entire incident with Nick and Gail on camera. And it's going to be on the seven o'clock news." He is fidgeting and blushing furiously.

Nick, Dov, and Oliver are having a hard time keeping their faces serious. Then Nick starts to giggle nervously into his pillow, and they all crack up. I feel someone standing behind me, and a friendly hand on my shoulder. It surprises me to hear Andy say, "Jesus guys! That's not funny!"

Andy and Gail have had a strained history, and I know Andy has never quite been sure how to act toward me. She has always been polite and professional in the lab and tentatively friendly when we have met during social occasions, but this show of warmth and support is unprecedented – and I am grateful. I slip my arm around her waist and give a little squeeze, which is returned by the hand on my shoulder.

"Ok, Andy, ok…" Nick holds up his hands in surrender and smiles at her.

Just then a man in a white coat and blue bowtie strides toward us.

"Excuse me." He inquires looking around the group of gathered officers, "Dr. Stewart?"

"Uh, yes?" I reply

"Dr. Patel would like to see you in her office right away." He says to me, and then turns to hand Nick a pint container of Coffee flavored Barium solution. "And you! You need to dismiss your little fan club and drink this! This is a hospital you know!" He snaps.

I feel the color drain slightly from my face. Andy gives my shoulder another squeeze and lets go as I follow him down the hall.

Dr. Patel's office is large and bright. She gets up from behind her desk and comes around to greet me.

"Dr. Stewart, the results on Ms. Peck's MRI and CT Scans are in. Won't you please sit down." She motions to a chair in front of her desk.

"Uh, thank you." I say as I sit.

She leans on her desk holding Gail's chart. "As you may know, you are named as Ms. Peck's Medical Power of Attorney, and as such are responsible for making all medical decisions for her if she is unable to do so herself."

I didn't know that, but it makes sense, so I nod.

"It seems that her injuries are somewhat more extensive than we originally anticipated." She continues.

I brace myself for what may be coming.

"As well as the injury to her shoulder, she has hairline fractures of her L3 and R4 ribs, and her liver and spleen have extensive bruising and swelling. We are also seeing some swelling of the disk between C7 and T1, but we are hoping these issues will resolve themselves given time and rest." She explains.

"Ok…" I say cautiously

"Basically, in about three to six months time, with the right care, she should be as good as new." Dr. Patel concludes with a warm smile.

"Thank you doctor!" I smile back at her.

"It's the least I can do. " She shakes my hand as I get up to go, "Officer Peck is being admitted now. Why don't you get yourself a cup of coffee. You should be able to go up and see her in about an hour."

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_"You're The Top! You're Miss Pinkham's tonic…" _

I can hear Gail singing all the way out in the hall. I smile to myself.

_"You're The Top! You're a high colonic… You're the rhythmic beat of a bridal suite in use …"_

I stand in the doorway watching a very high Gail singing into her toothbrush like a microphone.

"Gail…" I begin.

_"You're the mound of Venus! You're King Kong's penis! You're self-abuse!" _

"Gail…" In spite of it all, I am trying not to laugh. Leave it to Gail to know the special Cole Porter verses.

She grips her I.V. pole and swings her legs off the side of the bed to sit up facing me.

_"You're the arch, in the Rome collection! You're the starch, in a groom's erection…" _

"Oh really?" I smile at her.

"_I'm a eunuch who has just been through an op…_ _But if lady I'm a bottom, you're a top.." _She winks playfully at me_._

"Gail." I sigh, and shake my head at her, "Enjoying your pain medication?"

"Yup!" She pops the "P" at the end of the word. Her right arm is strapped to her body under her hospital Johnny. She tries to get up but winces in pain.

"Just how much are you on?" I inquire with a raised eyebrow.

"I donno…" she says dreamily, "A lot…"

"Okey dokey. Let's just get you back into bed before you hurt yourself even more." I walk toward her and try to get her to swing her feet back up onto the bed.

"Oh, Holly! Here? Now? I just love it when you're forceful…" She teases and refuses to move.

"Come on Gail. Please?" I plead with her.

"Noooooo!" She whines. "I gotta pee, and they'll make me use that icky, germy, thing!" She makes a sour face and wobbles to her feet.

I sigh, and remember how she took care of me when I was in the hospital. "Ok, I'm going to help you to the toilet, and then can you please go back to bed?"

"Ok!" She chirps, and smiles a big toothy grin.

God, she's a handful! I am waiting for her to call me back into the bathroom when none other than Elaine Peck appears in the doorway. She is not in uniform, but she might as well be. Her crisp white tailored shirt is tucked neatly into the top of navy slacks which break perfectly over her chocolate brown ankle boots with stiletto heals. Her red hair is pulled back in a slightly messy ponytail in a bad attempt to appear more casual. Her sharp blue eyes narrow as she sees me.

"Hello Holly." She smiles without warmth, sizing up both me, and the situation at hand.

"Hello Elaine." I push off from the wall where I am leaning and meet her cold hard gaze.

"Where is our girl? And how is she doing?" She practically purrs.

I hear the toilet flush behind me and hear Gail call out. "Holly? Holly, you can come get me now."

"A mother can help, can't she?" Elaine says, as she roughly pushes past me into the bathroom.

"Elaine…" I try to stop her.

"MOTHER!" I hear Gail's indignant voice shout from behind the door.

"Great." I sag back against the wall.

They emerge moments later, Gail blushing crimson, looking at her feet as she shuffles into the room, Elaine guiding her with a hand on her waist.

"Ok darling. Stay right there!" Elaine says, as she leaves Gail standing in the middle of the room, clutching her I.V. pole for support, to go fluff the pillows, and straighten out the covers on the bed.

Gail sways slightly, and I rush forward to catch her from behind. She leans back into my body, and whispers "help me!" into my ear.

We stand there for what seems like an eternity while Elaine fusses with the sheets. Finally, she pulls back the covers, pats the bed and says, "Ok darling, come on! We can't have you using up all of your strength before your surgery tomorrow, now can we?"

"Mother, I'm fine, really." Gail protests.

"Of course you are darling!" Elaine continues.

But Gail is not fine. I can see the lines of pain and fatigue around her eyes and the slight grey tint around her lips as I help her back into bed. She sighs deeply and closes her eyes, leaning back into those meticulously fluffed pillows. I sit in the chair next to the bed.

"Well Gail, I'm going to go find the nurse to see if there is anything I need to know." Elaine states briskly, and leaves the room.

The minute she is gone Gail opens her eyes and says, "Oh my God! She is going to have a fit when she finds out you're in charge of my care!"

I smile a little at the thought. "Don't worry Gail." I say with a smirk "I got you, I got this!" and I lean over to kiss her lips gently.

She reaches for my hand. "I need you Holly! Please don't leave me." She sighs.

"Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere!" I give her hand a little squeeze.

"Good!" She mumbles, and promptly falls asleep.


	17. Chapter 17 - Rain

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Dawn comes too early as I find myself slumped on our couch still wearing yesterday's clothes. Ugh. My mouth tastes sour and dry and my eyes feel like they are full of sand. The house is empty without her, and the world is cold and grey. I need to get up. Andy will be by soon to take me to the hospital, the boys dropped me off last night, Oliver is probably with her right now. Gail has been having nightmares and other PTSD symptoms ever since she woke up from surgery two days ago. She earned herself a longer hospital stay by thrashing in her sleep, ripping her stitches, and re-injuring herself. I drag myself off the couch and into the kitchen where I start the coffee. My phone begins to ring just as I am heading for the shower.

"Holly! Hi!" It's Traci sounding much too chipper.

"Oh hey Traci. What's up?" I stifle a yawn into the phone.

"Well, Andy and I were just wondering if you would like to join us for a run before heading in to the hospital." Her voice is full of what Gail likes to call overprotective motherly concern.

I was going to run later, but this may be just what I need!

"Uh yeah, that sounds great!" I reply "See you at the park in twenty."

* * *

I listen to the satisfying sound of my sneakers on the pavement and the soft huff of my breath coming in gasps now, pushing harder for the parking lot ahead. Dark clouds loom ominously over the lake and thunder can be heard in the distance as we make our last lap around the park. I am several yards in front of Andy, and Traci is gaining at my heels. Winner gets a free breakfast at the hospital cafeteria. I can see her look of determination out of the corner of my eye. I put forth one last burst of speed, sprinting into the lot and practically falling over the hood of my Jeep with Traci laughing, just seconds behind and Andy coming in a close third.

"Wow, that was fun!" I gasp, watching Andy lean heavily on her thighs, panting, Traci pulling me upright by the hand with a giant grin on her face.

"If I knew Gail's partner was actually athletic, I might have reconsidered our bet." Andy gasps.

"Told ya'!" Traci slaps her on the butt, "Now let's walk and stretch." She starts to head for the athletic obstacle course with its chin up bars and yoga diagrams.

"Thanks guys!" I say. I am feeling warm and loose, better than I have since Gail went into the hospital. The wind picked up, carrying with it the cool scent of ozone and rain as I do my first set of twenty chin-ups on the bar.

"Damn girl!" I hear Traci say, as I swing my legs up, hooking my knees over the bar for a set of inverted sit-ups.

"What?" I ask innocently.

"Oh, I don't know," Andy smiles, "because it would be embarrassing if we let a scientist kick our butts. Now we have to keep up with you."

I laugh, "No, really, you don't! I just do this for myself because it makes me feel good!"

"Oh, yes we do!" Traci replies, grabbing the bar next to me and starting in on a set of chin-ups.

"Ok. Suite yourself!" I laugh, dropping to the ground after my second set of each.

I walk over to the open rubberized area on the course and begin my Yoga sun salutation routine to stretch.

"Why can't she be the cop in the family?" I hear Andy grumble

"I know, right?" Traci snickers.

I ignore them.

I am just finishing my last downward dog as the rain begins. I grab my water bottle and run for the car, pulling my keys out of my waist pack as I go. Thick heavy drops pound on the roof as Traci hops in beside me.

"Andy is going back to the station first, so I hope you don't mind." She begins

"No problem, but I want to go home and change before we go to the hospital." I answer. "If you want to shower at our place, I'm sure I can find you some sweats or something to wear. Or you could just step back out in this." I wave my right hand absently at the downpour.

"Yes," She smiles at me. "You know Jerry used to love this weather. He used to think it was romantic to just stay at home and cook all day, or open a bottle of wine and watch the rain from our bed."

"I'm sorry I didn't know him." I say quietly, watching her smile sadly out at the rain.

"I love Steve. I do. But there are moments like this, when the sky opens up, and I can't help but think of Jerry." She turns to look at me then. "I know Gail still blames herself for his death, but it's not true. The only one to blame is Ross Perek, and he did enough damage to Gail without Jerry."

I don't know what to say, so I keep quiet. There is a blinding flash and thunder shakes the car.

"I can't tell her this, but I know what he did to her." She continues.

"Ok…" I say slowly, not wanting to reveal any more than I should.

"Holly, I know that he raped her, even if she denies it." Traci says softly, her eyes locked into mine.

I know I can't lie to her. So I nod slightly, feeling the lump forming in my throat.

"I just want you to know that I know, and I'm here for her too. Ok?"

I reach out and squeeze her hand. "Does Steve know?" I ask in a shaky voice.

"No… Or if he does I wasn't the one to tell him." She replies shaking her head.

"Oh." I can't think of anything else to say.

"But I think Elaine might…" She is looking worried now.

"What! Wait, how…?" I am alarmed

"I overheard her having a curious conversation with Steve when Gail didn't wake up right after her surgery."

"And where was I?" I wonder

"I'm not sure. Filling out paperwork or something. Anyway, Elaine was speaking with the nurses and looking at Gail's medical records when Steve came up to ask if she should be doing that without Gail's consent. The nurse sputtered something about Elaine being her mother, and how it was only right. And you should have seen the look on her face! Elaine's that is. And then later, right before Gail came out of ICU, Elaine was saying something about how she gave birth to two children, but it was clear that only one of them would ever amount to anything as a cop." A bitter expression creeps across her face. "I mean, what is wrong with her?"

I sigh. "I try to be compassionate. I try to be understanding. But that woman is pure evil sometimes."

"Yeah, I know. It isn't easy being in a relationship with Steve either. And she does everything in her power to bring us down." Traci sighs

This is news to me, although I can't say I'm surprised. Elaine has always held Traci up to Gail as a shining example of what a career minded, tough, policewoman should be. I know that this is not only to destroy Gail's self confidence, and negate all of the hard work and undercover assignments Gail has undertaken over the past year, but also to try to drive a wedge between Gail and anyone she feels close to. All I can do is laugh, or I think I'm going to cry.

"Yeah." I shake my head still laughing, "She sure is a piece of work, Superintendent Peck!"

Traci is laughing too "Careful what you say Holly, you never know who might be listening."

"Ok, so I want to know," I look Traci in the eye, "does Steve go through your house and cars with a radio frequency scanner at random intervals to make sure there are no bugs, or is it just Gail?"

"Oh no, he does that too!" We sit there and look at each other before cracking up again. The rain stops as quickly as it began. I start the car as misty rays of sunlight pierce the clouds and illuminate the parking lot making everything glow.

"Thanks Traci!" I say, turning to her once more, "It's nice to get to talk with you, you know, alone."

"Yeah, " She smiles back at me, "Yeah, it is."

* * *

The text comes just as Traci is getting out of the shower. I am sitting at the kitchen island drinking coffee when she calls to me.

"Hey Holly! I just heard your phone go off in your bedroom." She appears wrapped in a towel with my phone in her hand.

"Thanks Traci! Want some coffee?" I reply, taking my phone, and setting out a mug for her.

I'M FREEEEEEEEE! COME GET ME! XO G

I smile and look up at her. "Looks like there are going to be four of us at breakfast!"

"Ok, well let's not keep her waiting!" Traci's eyes sparkle as she smiles back.


	18. Chapter 18 - Speed Bumps

**Thank you for all of your kind words and support! As always comments, suggestions, and reviews are always greatly appreciated!**

* * *

"Holly? " Gail's voice is calling from our bedroom.

I pick myself up off the couch where I have been reading the latest Journal of Forensic Science and drag myself to the door. Gail has been home for over a week. She is propped up in pillows and a blue corduroy backrest she likes to call her husband. There is a steel plate with eight pins in her right clavicle, but she is on bed rest for at least another two weeks due to her bruised liver and spleen. She jokes that if I took a close up photo of her abdomen it would match the decor of our bedroom as an abstract of purple, blue, and greenish yellow. She doesn't get why I don't think its funny at all.

"Hey." I greet her wearily.

"I've missed you!" She pouts, "You're so far away."

"I'm right here." I reply. "And I've been here all day."

"No, you've been out there all day." She pouts some more, "You used to like reading in bed with me."

She is right, and I know it. I sigh heavily and look at the floor. When she was in the hospital, I couldn't wait for her to come home. Now that she's here, I can barely stand being in the same room with her.

"Did you make that ultrasound appointment for later in the week with Dr. Sinclair?" I ask instead of answering. There is pressure building in my head behind my eyes.

"Holly. Holly, look at me." She demands. But I can't.

I close my eyes as the pressure moves into my chest as well. The air is so thick I am beginning to suffocate.

"Did you?" I ask again.

"Uh huh. But you're still not looking at me. Come on Holly! We tell each other stuff, right?"

I can't take it, so I literally run from our room, down the stairs and into our front hall. The cold stone floor steadies me as the silent tears begin to come and I lean back into the dark wood door of the coat closet. I have got to get out of here! I am throwing on my coat and boots, when I see her standing there looking lost. She is wearing nothing but my faded, grey Magnetic Fields t-shirt that falls gracefully over the tops of her thighs, her hair is in a wild, messy braid and her eyes are huge.

"Where are you going?" she asks softly.

I turn away so she won't see my tears. I swallow hard, but no words come. Soft hands touch my wrist and gently caress the back of my neck.

"Where is your sling? And why are you out of bed?" I practically whisper.

"Holly, do you want to tell me what's going on?" Her lips brush the back of my neck as she speaks, sending shivers up my spine, and more tears.

Her arms wrap around me, pulling me closer. I sigh, and lean into the soft comfort of her body. Her lips press into the space between my shoulders at the base of my neck.

"Holly," She murmurs into my skin, "It's just me. Turn around."

I close my eyes and shake my head. Oh God, it hurts! "I can't." I say in a barely audible voice that breaks.

I try to remove her arms, but she holds on tight.

"I can't do this. I don't know how." I whisper.

I can feel her moving around my body until she is directly in front of me.

"Can't do what Holly?" I can hear the soft note of dread in her voice. It breaks my heart even more. "Come on Holly! Can't do what?" She says louder, beginning to sound somewhat panicky. "Holly?"

I whimper and gasp as more tears come. She lets go of my body and steps back with a look of growing horror on her face. I can't seem to pull it together enough to answer. I clutch myself and sob harder. My nose runs. She is backing away from me now with huge sad eyes, her mouth slightly agape.

"Gail.." I finally manage to hiccup, reaching for her.

"No, don't." She says in a flat tone, shaking her head before she turns and runs.

Shit! What just happened? I crumple into a ball with my back to the wall and sob into my arms.

It takes a while before I finally manage to get up and go into the lavatory off the kitchen. Splashing cold water on my face, I lean heavily on the sink to look at my puffy reflection. I need to pull it together and talk to Gail. She's here. She's alive. She's ok! I chant in my head. Just last week I did an autopsy on a woman who died in a car wreck of injuries very much like Gail's. She ruptured her liver and bled out before she got to the hospital.

The door to our bedroom is closed and locked when I try to go in. So I knock.

"Gail?"

No answer. So I knock again.

"Gail? Come on Gail! Let me in!" There is still no answer.

"Gail! Look, I'm sorry, I'm kinda freaking out. You said you wanted to know, so please open the door!"

Nothing. I lean my head on the door jam.

"What do you want." Her voice finally comes, but its cold and hard.

"Gail, just open the frickin' door!" I know I am starting to sound impatient.

The door opens and I am met with the same impassive face and an icy blue glare I have seen her reserve to use on Nick and other people she doesn't like.

"Gail…"

"What do you want? Come here to gloat Holly? Come here to finish the job? You know I can't lift anything or I'd already be gone. So get your fleece out of my closet and just go." She says and turns her back to me.

"Gail…" I reach out and touch her shoulder.

"Don't." She shrugs my hand off and takes a step forward. "If you're going to leave, just go. I knew this was too good to be true. How long have you been planning this Holly? Since I got hurt, or before?"

"I'm not…"

"Not what Holly. Not sorry? Not able to stick around? And to think, I thought you were different." She snipes, and turns to jab at me with her finger.

"Not leaving." I say.

"Oh." She stands there looking at me with guarded eyes that intensify the pain in my already hollow chest. Why is it that she always gets to be the broken one? Why do I always have to pick up the pieces? I feel something inside of me snap.

"Fuck you Gail! Fuck you and your fucking need to see me as your enemy!" I round on her. I know I'm not being exactly fair, but I can't seem to stop myself. I hear my voice growing louder. "You could have fucking died! You know that, right? You could have fucking died, but you and your Goddamn friends think its all so fucking funny! You sit there and watch that stupid video over and over again thinking it's so fucking cool! And all I can see when I see that, is what that kind of impact trauma can do to the human body! Did you ever think about that? No, not you. You know, life isn't one of your stupid video games Gail!"

I know what I must look like, gesturing wildly as I yell at her. She is staring at me, but I can't read her face.

"People die from this shit!" I push my glasses up further onto my face and continue, "People die from this kind of thing all the time. And do you care? No! There's a woman in my lab right now. I did her autopsy last week. And she's dead Gail, in a fucking drawer in my lab! And that could so easily have been you..."

I pause to catch my breath when I am suddenly in her arms. She's still quick, I'll give her that. She gives a little grunt of pain, as our bodies collide, propelled by the sheer velocity of her movement. She is gripping me tightly, the fingers of her right hand splayed out across my back, her left hand tangled in my hair forcing my head onto her good shoulder. And I break with a sound like the wind screaming across the ice, the groan of icebergs and glaciers melting and cracking, the whimper of time being broken. There is no air as I mumble nonsense syllables, unable to form real words, and moan into the skin of her neck. I am drowning. I don't want to hurt her, but my arms come up anyway to grasp at her hips and hold on for dear life. I find the surface, gasping greedy gulps of air and the scent of her skin into my burning lungs. She's here. She's alive. She's ok, or will be given time. I feel her start to loosen her grip and pull slightly out of our embrace, but I'm not ready, so I hold on. She is backing up now, steering us toward the bed. She maneuvers us to sit on the edge, removing my glasses, wiping my tears away with her thumbs and gently kissing my eyelids.

She's here. She's alive. She's ok. I use that as a mantra to steady me. She's here. She's alive. She's ok. I find that I can look her in the eye now. I'm breathing hard like I've just run up a steep hill.

"I'm sorry this has been so hard on you!" She whispers, cupping my face in her hands. "We laugh and joke, and brag, and watch that video because we can't let fear win. You know that. Right?"

I do know that. I know that, but it doesn't make it easier. So I swallow hard and nod once.

"Holly, you and I both know that I have a dangerous job. Heck, your job put you in the hospital earlier this year for weeks! Do you know how frantic I was then?"

I know how much this admission must be costing her, so I lean in and take her hand. She pulls me closer so that our legs entwine and we are loosely holding each other. She absent-mindedly runs her fingertips from the palm of my hand, halfway up my forearm and back, giving me goose-bumps all over.

"I wasn't trying to break up with you. I can't believe you even thought that!" I whisper as I watch her do it again.

"I know. I'm sorry about that too. Knee jerk reaction." She confesses

"I know. I'm sorry I pushed your buttons." I sigh. "I'm sorry I had this melt down!"

"Don't be." She says softly "I should have known you were freaking out. If I had been paying more attention to you I would have."

"Gail," I look into her eyes then, "You were in an accident. You were injured. You're on drugs!" I smirk a little bit as I say the drugs part.

"I know. But still." She strokes my cheek and doesn't back down.

"You're here. You're alive. You're ok." I say, and it's all that matters, "I don't want to fight with you. I never did."

She nods and scoots back onto her nest of pillows, dragging me with her. "I'm glad we're ok!" She sighs, "Bob was starting to get nervous!"

I look at her sideways. "Gail, who's Bob?"

"You know, Bob," She gestures with her hand at the pillows, "My husband." She says with a shy grin.

I shake my head and chuckle softly at her. "You really are insane, you know that." And I kiss her softly.

"You love it!" She breathes into my lips.

"I do." And I kiss her more slowly this time.


End file.
